Dear Reader,

Love is forgiveness; if you cannot forgive, you have not loved. Just recently, I have had to go through what feels like the absolute worst, and hardest trial that I have ever had to go through. If you've noticed my lack of posting and interaction, that is why.

Those few nights ago, I lied down on my bed and the truth had hit me. It had come out, and subconsciously, this is what I was afraid of all along. There was only one person, one spirit, and one God who could possibly help me through this time. I had taken a pill of reality and the ignorance had faded. Perhaps, I look back and wonder why I even tried to find out, but I remind myself that in order to overcome anything, you must deal with it; not let it overtake you.

In those moments I felt betrayed, worthless, ugly, bitter, disappointed, confused, hurt, unloved, and all of the worst emotions you could think of. All I could do was pray and ask why; I somehow knew part of the answer, but the other answers were revealed later on in the week. I felt I had done nothing to deserve this treatment, but I tried to stop the tears. All I could do was stare at my wall and rethink the same conversation over and over.

I knew that God loved me. I was reminded that God loved that person too. I sat there and wondered just how I could possibly get over something I was weakest in. I knew then that I needed to be more reliant on God; and that I was also, not responsible for others actions, as much as I didn't like them sometimes. I was reminded that Jesus had purchased our sins, and that they were wiped clean. As I stared into this persons eyes, I wondered how God could forgive the horribleness and ugliness of our sin. Then I was reminded, that is what love was.

Love is seeing the struggles and flaws of their people; yet caring and loving them all the same. Love is the feeling you get at 3 a.m. wondering how you will ever help that person, wondering how you could possibly forgive them. Love is being real and trying to help build that person up. Love is never, ever giving up. Love is giving, and never expecting to receive. Love is never giving up.

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That is when I forgave that person; that is when I let go of the past and helped them with the future. It hurts, love can be painful; after-all did God not sacrifice his own son for the love of us? 

In my weakest moments, God still had a plan- he still was faithful to me, even when I didn't think I could move on. I could. Just recently I read about someone's dream online; and they had a dream where they were walking with God, and you could see the footsteps in the paths of their lives; when it got to the dark and bad parts, you could only see one pair of footprints. The person asked God,"Where were you in the darkest moments of my life when I needed you most?" God's reply, "My Dear Child, I have never forsaken you, in those moments of your life; I was carrying you."

Deuteronomy 31:6  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Do you forgive?

Published by Ashley Chapman