In my observation, one of the hardest things about modern dating/modern falling in love/modern commitment...is that there is no way of knowing how it's all going to come to an end. With today's technologies, attention spans and general cold attitude toward the feelings of others you just never know when your partner is going to send you that fateful "We're done" text, then proceed to post pics of themselves on social media with the new Bae. It sucks, and it kind of makes you not even want to bother with relationships in the first place.

 

I've been a side chick before. I found out after the fact and I truly felt that I was beyond the point of no return and I had no idea how to escape it. My subconscious thought was, "I'm in this. I am in love with him now, I can't leave." But of course I could! I eventually lived up to the side chicks dream and became a main girlfriend but it was the most unhappy, paranoid and insecure time of my life. I didn't deserve to be with an asshole with a proclivity toward cheating; always worried about who he was texting or what he was doing. Fuck that dude, I was a strawberry kiwi Starburst being treated like a lemon flavored second choice!

 

Ironically, he broke up with me...poured me out and allowed me to be free. It was a long time coming but in retrospect I am grateful he let me go. I'm not sure that I ever would have done so myself. I beg of you, when your time comes, when relationship behavior changes and the writing is on the wall, do not be afraid to end things. Also, try not to do or say dumb ass things that do absolutely nothing to help your healing process.

 

Famous Last Lines

-No one will ever love you like I do

Totally not true! Someone probably is currently loving all of my exes better than I could right now at this very moment. The beauty is I don't care...and I never thought I would even get to that point.

-Social media stalking

Just don't. I had a huge fight with the boyfriend just the other day and the first thing I did was unfollow him on Facebook. Once things go south in a relationship for me its morphing time and I literally turn into a Power Ranger with a special knack for jealousy and pettiness. So before I lit up his page with immaturity I recused myself. If you break up unfriend (although I really think you shouldn't follow each other on social media in the first place; but do as I say not as I do!)

-I will never fall in love again

I did; and were my relationship to end I probably would again. Falling in love is easy, remaining in love is the hard part. Trying and working and perseverance is the hard part and the part I think we mourn once relationships end. We resent all that hard work and effort we put into it. The romantic in me believes that someone worth fighting for is always bound to come along if I  am open and free myself from the thought that I am bound to the last person I was with. The practical part of me also knows that there is fulfillment outside of romantic relationships so if I never fall in love again maybe I'll be a little saddened by that fact but overall I will be just fine.

Relationships from beginning to end are unpredictable. Let's remember to treat each other well, even if it means setting someone free, or making the courageous decision to free ourselves.

*Excerpt from blog.whiskeyandpoetry.com; read original post here.

Published by Whiskey blog.whiskeyandpoetry.com