I know, we've all seen the memes on Facebook and Pinterest:


And while I agree that what we see in public is often different from what really happens at home, I think we can make a healthy distinction here. Comparing yourself to others in hopes of living their seemingly ideal life is different from having positive role models.

Yes, I have three "mommy role models" that I think about nearly every day in my stay-at-homemaker lifestyle.


The first is A., the wife of my former boss. I don't actually know her very well, but during our decade of working together, I spent many hours listening to her husband tell stories about his three young daughters. And on a few rare occasions, I had the opportunity to visit with their children. Here's why I admire A.

She has done an amazing job of raising their three free-spirited, intelligent, polite, inquisitive, and self-confident girls. All week long, year after year, while her husband was away at work, it was her guidance and actions that helped those girls evolve into the amazing young adults they are today.

This family's influence on my parenting style started even before my own children were born. It was their example of a peaceful and calming home-birth that I convinced me to have my own children at home. And it is partly from their influence that I am seriously considering homeschooling my daughters. I look forward to seeing what their girls will grow up to do, and I hope that mine will turn out that well someday.


I am blessed to be part of the very large DeCook family and I admire all of my sisters-in-law for different reasons but today I'm going to tell you about just one of them.

Angie and family, 2015

My second mommy role model is my sister-in-law Angie. Angie is a handful of years older than me, married to one of the farmers in the family, and has five children (between the ages of 22 and 12). Here's why I am in awe of Angie.

Angie is a wealth of useful information. She can tell you everything you need to know about preserving home-grown vegetables and fruit. She can sew. She can cook. She can bake 350 of the most delicious cupcakes you've ever eaten for her daughter's graduation party. (I'm totally serious. I need to get her salted caramel cupcake recipe.) She's a fantastic hostess. And with all that, she still finds time to tend a huge garden, grow beautiful flowers, and look after a sizable collection of farm animals.

Over the years, she has seen her share of difficult times. But even when others would have folded, her incredible dedication to her family gave her unbelievable strength to pulled herself through. She always has a positive disposition and a smile on her face.

Just like my former boss, every one of their children is polite, caring, hard working, confident, and determined to follow their own path. I love that my daughters have such positive role models in their cousins! And I look forward to continuing to learn all sorts of things from Angie over the coming years.


Annie, gymdollbeauty.com

The third mommy role model is my young, energetic friend Annie. She has three young daughters, two dogs, a military hubby, and a new house that she is in the process of settling into. Here's why I love Annie.

Annie has figured out to find time to balance her role as a wife and mom without losing her sense of self. She goes to the gym. She does her hair and makeup. She has her own online makeup company. She even finds time to host entertaining and educational Friday Night chats on Facebook Live! And through it all, she handles rough times with brutal honesty and a positive attitude. I hope that through our friendship, she will be able to teach me how to achieve a little bit of that oh-so-important balance.

I am so grateful for each of these wonderful role models. Thank you ladies!

Published by Phoebe DeCook