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A millennial’s perspective on being in a relationship in the middle of the hook-up phenomenon.

Have you ever seen those cute little videos where 8-year-old Timmy is teaching his 70-year-old grandma how to use an iPhone? You know that sad, puzzled look on gram-gram’s face? That’s exactly what I look like when my friends try to explain Tinder to me.

“So which way do you swipe again if you like them?”

“Right Haley, you swipe right.”


I’ve been in the same relationship with the same person for over 5 years now.  If you do the math that means I started dating my other half when I was 17 years old, aka back when Facebook had the “Become a Fan” button instead of “Like”. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel disconnected from my fellow brethren of confused young adults. Here are some of the areas of my life where I notice it the most.


#1. Social Media

Back in my day… we actually talked to people… or instant messaged them. Even then, eventually you had to talk irl (in real life) since you could only hog up your landline with dial-up internet for so long. Now there’s Tinder – which I explained that I didn’t know much about earlier – and then there’s Snapchat. I can see where Snapchat would be fun, especially since companies haven’t quite figured out a way to exploit it like they did with Facebook, but Tinder?! REALLY?! You’re going to judge me all on one picture, with one swipe? At least on a date I get a full hour to drive the other person away.

Then what cracks me up is how men use Tinder versus how women use it. My male friends use it primarily to find hook-ups and achieve bragging rights, where my female friends are secretly looking to find love. I never have the heart to tell them that Chad, 24, who likes to surf and “live every day like it’s his last” is probably not looking for a serious relationship.

#2. Bars

The one thing I can honestly say about bars is that they probably haven’t changed for decades. Being a woman, you almost have to have a guy (that you trust) by your side the entire time in order to not be harassed. Too many mega margaritas can make the shyest guy in all of San Diego turn into a cast member of Jersey Shore in a matter of minutes. If you don’t believe me, spend an hour in Pacific Beach.

On Cinco De Mayo I actually met someone who would bring a fake engagement ring with her when she went out. She told me she did this in order to ward away guys she wasn’t interested in talking to. I’ve always heard of people doing that, but I had never actually met someone personally who did! Even then, guys would come up to her asking if her relationship with her fiancé was “actually serious”. I felt like one of those nature observers from the Discovery Channel, taking mental notes that even the fake engagement ring method doesn’t work.


#3. Music

Today’s popular music not only promotes going to the club and meeting people (which I don’t have a problem with) but it also promotes cheating on your significant other (which I definitely have a problem with). For example, let’s take a look at the song “Post to Be” by Omarion feat. Chris Brown & Jhené Aiko.


 If your chick come close to me

She ain't going home when she post to be

Pull up to the club and it go up

Make your girl fall in love when I show up

It's not my fault she want to know me

She told me you was just a homie


Translation: It’s not my fault that I encourage cheating. First of all, I don’t understand why people need to go after people in relationships when there are tons of single people out there (check out my infographic below for stats). Second of all, why do Omarion and Chris Brown assume that someone would automatically cheat for them? Last time I checked Chris Brown hasn’t won gentleman of the year award (for obvious reasons) and Omarion’s last hit single was in 2006. If you ask me, he needs to stick to heartbreak songs like “Ice Box”.


Stay Tuned for next week’s post! I promise I’ll actually give more advice on the next one instead of purely ranting (sorry, but I had to this time).


Infographic of the Week:

#monogamy infographic


Question of the Week:

Which song do you think encourages cheating the most? Comment Below!

Published by Haley Daniels