"So who am I talking with?" The young therapist Ms. Harrison asked. A woman in her late thirties with glasses and short blonde hair to her shoulders. 

"You're talking to Brian." A man in his mid twenties said sitting across from Ms. Harrison in her office. This was his first visit. 

"Okay Brian and why are you here?" She asked.

"Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder." 

"And are you aware of these other personality types?" She asked.


"Well that's great. Do you know how many types there are?"

"As far as I'm aware there are only three of us."

"Three of you?" 

"Yes. I only know of the three main ones. Brian, Ryan, and Siren. If there are more I'm not aware of them."

"You named them?" 

"I find it's the easiest way to explain to people what happened when I do things that are out of my character. Whatever that means I guess."

"But you're aware of what these other two personality types do? That's unusual."

"Yeah I've read that as well. I like to think of it as a car shifting into different gears. On a regular day of stress and habits I'm fine. I'm good just being Brian. I'm quiet, calm, logical, and sarcastic. I like to joke but I'm respectful."

"And when you shift into the next gear?"

"Then Ryan shows up. He's the risk taker. The thrill seekers. The hold my beer and watch me do the things you just said I can't. He's reckless but he's also a ton of fun. The problem are his actions at times will be so stupid it'll ruin relationships or goals. He's likely to end up in the hospital doing something stupid."

"Is he an opposite of the quiet and calmness of Brian? He's loud and outspoken? Rude even?"

"I wouldn't say a direct rude. He will be nice to you, but then an hour later leave with your girl because she was never really interested in your friend in the first place. Although he might mean well he can still be kind of a dick. You'll respect him for his balls but may also hate him for his outcomes. If that makes any sense to you." Ms. Harrison was writing down some notes. 

"Would you say that Ryan is what Brian wants to be?"

"No. I mean there is always a time to be daring and adventurous. But it's also nice to just sit back and have a intellectually stimulating conversation. It doesn't have to be one or the other. The time and the place may dictate what happens or who shows up."

"It sounds like the two of you have a good working relationship then. Would you agree?"

"Yeah It's okay. It's cost me some friends, but it's also led to some awesome stories. I've been able to do things other people probably wouldn't or never will."

"Okay and what's the next gear? You said Siren? Tell me about him."

"Siren isn't a person. Siren is a nuclear bomb. It's a thing."

"What do you mean? Does he talk? Are you aware of what's going on when Siren comes out?"

"I'm aware of it and he definitely talks. But I'm afraid of Siren. Like I said he's not really a person. It's a thing." 

"Tell me more about him. What does he say when he talks?"

"Siren doesn't hold back. He's perceptive and over stimulated like a Sherlock Holmes. He will call you out on every flaw or mishap that any of us have seen over the course of our relationship."

"So he's the smartest of the group?"

"I'm not sure he's the smartest. He's definitely the most emotional of the bunch. He won't just light the bridge on fire. He will load it up with TNT and then drop a bomb on it and stand back watching it happen with the devil in his eyes."

"Sounds a little scary. Do you know how to control him? Or it?"

"If I knew how to control it I wouldn't be here would I? When I start to feel over stimulated or stressed by a situation or an environment I try to walk away from it or find a distraction."

"Well that sounds like a good idea. Does Brian and Ryan agree to try and keep Siren in check?"

"Oh no. Ryan think's its funny. He loves to see the bomb go off and watch the outcomes. There's always a domino affect to the things that we do. He likes to see where the dominos fall. If anything Ryan is the instigator to Siren. If Ryan comes out and hasn't found a way to juice his thrill seeking ways in some way or another he will secretly hope that Siren comes out to liven up the situation."

"Okay. Now when these episodes happen, to the best of your knowledge, do they all happen in the same night? Or is it more likely that just one happens for awhile and the other two suddenly pop up? Is it two in a day? I'm trying to understand the development of your D.I.D. Can you give me an example?"

"Well normally I can handle it. I'm on these bi-polar like drugs that help control the emotional swings. But I'll give you an example of an episode. So I get invited to this small house party. It's supposed to be like 5 or 6 of us hanging out watching an event and playing some beer pong. The events the reason why we get together but really it's just a bunch of friends hanging out bull shitting and getting drunk. Well then one of our friends invites another friend and his buddy because he happens to be in town. That buddy then has some girls that want to see him so we say invite them over to! Then three girls show up an hour later because girls always travel in packs. It's too late for some of us by then. We're already feeling good. Then the peer pressure kicks in for whatever reason. Suddenly the games get more competitive as the masculinity gets pushed up in the presence of girls. Now all the sudden shots are involved instead of beer. Before you can blink twice suddenly Ryan has appeared. I go from I'm having a good time hanging out with my buddies to it's time to raise hell and have a wild time. Ryan is suddenly hitting on these girls he doesn't know. He's instigating we do even more dumb stuff. Maybe the loser goes streaking? Who knows with him. When he finally wins his challenge or battle or hooks up with the girl he'll be sitting there on the couch or outside in the backyard feeling drunk. The world will be spinning and the thoughts will be all over the map. He'll be begging for Brian to show up and get him a ride home but instead something will happen. One of his friends will say something mean or lie about something he knows to be false and like a lighting bolt all the sudden Siren shows up. He won't even feel a thing. The alcohol mine as well fall off his body and onto the ground. Suddenly rage or anger or fear or whatever set him off will light the fire. He will lay into that person with everything he has. If it gets physical it'll get bloody. If it's only verbal you better believe Siren is getting the last word and then walking out of there and then walking home. Then the next day I'll show up and feel like shit for doing what I did."

"What exactly do you feel bad about?"

"You know how we have those social contracts with people? We say hello how are you? And even though we're miserable or going through a hard time we say that we're fine and the conversation moves on. It's like even though you know something you're not really supposed to say anything. One because they might not listen and it causes a rift, or you know they just have to figure it out on their own so there is no reason upsetting your friendship."

"Well yes that's a society thing. That's human nature. But why does Brian then feel bad for his other's actions? I know you can't say it's not but really it is."

"I wouldn't say that he feels bad about what was said. It feels good to let some of that pent up anger or agitation out. It's how it's said. There's always a right way or right place to tell a friend or person something." 

"I guess that's true. But at least it's out there right. If they're a true friend the dust will settle and you'll be able to come back from it right?"

"I don't know about you but there isn't a lot of true friendships out there anymore. A lot of them are limited. We have relationships with people who fit a part of what we want. In a way we all have these split personalities don't we? It's just instead of having different personalities like I do we have different interests or capabilities to deal with other peoples flaws because of their surroundings or interests. You'll deal with a nerd's weird ways if it allows you to get your zombie fetish fix. You'll deal with the stupid shows and bad food with some chick if it means you'll get laid."

"That's a very interesting observation." 

"I know we're getting side tracked a little bit but don't you feel like most of our relationships are just half relationships? We're so afraid to let someone completely in for fear of rejection of betrayal?"

"Perhaps. But I believe our vulnerabilities are what make a relationship grow stronger. When we see each other warts that's when our relationships can grow. We can learn from one another. We just can't be afraid to do it."

"Haven't you been burnt by that?"

"Yes. I think we all have. I think it's better to know that to never try at all. If you close yourself off from other people you're never really going to form any real relationships. You'll never have any real attachments." 

"Yeah I guess you're right. It just takes time I suppose. I just have trouble with trusting others to see my warts."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I've just been burnt way too much. I guess that's why I have Ryan and Siren."

"What do you mean?"

"In a way, and as stupid as this will sound, they keep me safe. As reckless as they are they're pushing people away. They're testing the boundaries of the friendships or relationships that I have. I'm too afraid to say the things I'm thinking. I'm too afraid to do the things I want to do. Ryan does it. Siren says it. I just sit back and watch the outcomes the next day." Ms. Harrison sat there thinking. "I know it's pretty fucked up."

"You're quite an interesting case Brian. Your case is not one I've ever heard of before." Brian looks over at the clock on the desk. 

"It looks like my times up." 

"What do you mean? You're my last appointment of the night. We can talk as long as you'd like."

"No that's okay Ms. Harrison. I think that's enough for today. Hopefully I'll see you next week. Then again maybe I won't. I'm not sure who will show up." Brian got up and stopped at the door. 

"But if you're still in there, and you want to be here, you will."

"I'm not sure about that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Ms. Harrison I can see it in your eyes, and in your breasts, that this case turns you on mentally and physically. That's a deadly combination. It's only a matter of time before you want to have sex with me. I mean who could blame you. I'm smart, attractive, and stay in shape. You have that fear of never getting married or having kids. I'm a guy. I'm still good for another two decades probably. You could use me to put a baby in that bun. And even though you're a psychiatrist you're still a person as well. That meaning that you have selfish agendas as well. You're not a robot. I'm not sure I can fully trust you. Would I have sex with you? Yes. You're very pretty. But I know I also need help. I'm just not sure you're the type of person that can help me. Maybe I better try an older guy who is less stimulated with my mental variables and is more interested in helping me get better and control some things." He watched as Ms. Harrison's jaw dropped and she remained lost for words. "Like I said. Sherlock Holmes skills."

"Did you just go from Brian to Siren? I thought it was an escalation process." 

"You shouldn't listen to everything Brian says. He doesn't even exist." He walked out and shut the door. 


Published by Brian Argetsinger