You know that feeling when you get something new. Especially when you’ve been waiting for it for a long time, then you finally got it. And you say to yourself, I’m never losing it, I won’t let it get a scratch, I will clean it always, I will cherish it and love it forever.

For days you were still holding on to that little promise and finally that day came. You forgot to clean it and it became dirty and filthy. Then you lost it.

I know what you’re thinking how does she know? The truth is that I know the difference between love and like or whatever.

Lately, the word, LOVE has been quite popular. Everyone is saying love, love, love…but do they really know what love is? Yes I know the difference but I don’t know what it is. I know it’s beautiful, sad, safe, dangerous, but I don’t know what it is. All I know is I can’t misplace what I love, scratch what I love, hate what I love or abandon what I love. 

Some say love is a feeling, I say love is a person. She grows. She blossoms. She gets scared. She gets lonely at times. He gets happy. He gets sad. He’s vulnerable. He gets light headed. He’s a fool.

Honestly, I’m scared of love. She’s too good yet he’s too bad. I feel my lack of knowledge of her will kill me. I feel too much of him will suffocate me. I feel I will get lost in her body or drown in her ocean. He can be the end of me. But when she gets lonely, I wanna keep her company or when He gets scared, I wanna hold him and tell him its all gonna be fine.

This love really is gonna be the end of me.​

Published by Oyeyemi Adeoye