Week 2 of my life of being an officially recognised blogger. Even though I've written my other blog for over a year it still just felt like some teenager boy's angsty diary whilst this with all the weird HTML setting and metadata just feels more official. 

I think today's post is going to be about taking failure in your stride. Perhaps failure isn't the correct word, maybe disappointment suits it better. I've never liked being disappointed, no one really does but I seem to have inherited my father's abject hate for criticism or anything that even resembles it. I think that's a part of the reason why I've become a social media hermit, it's just disappointing sometimes when you don't get the text-back you expect, or just not getting one at all. In my haste to preserve my ego I just left it all behind and retreated into my cave of solitude to ponder and grow in my introvertedness. 

Another thing I do is to tee up for these big awards, that's a total butchering of what it is but it's trying to receive all the happy things at once, I used to leave tonnes of snapchats unopened only to open them all at once to be supremely bored at the collection of "hey"s and "hi"s and the occasional "please stop messaging me or I'll call the police". I stopped for a while, just opening them as they came and never replying because I didn't believe my textual banter was good enough and I think I've started doing it again. I've blocked all notifications for messenger and snapchat and only bother opening them now and again hoping to experience a Niagara falls of texts, surprisingly people don't really text you out of the blue that much so really it's kind of underwhelming. 

After that long meander I thought I'd actually hit the meat and potatoes part of this post. I'm really disappointed that I didn't get any likes on my last post. Like any teenager, my sense of self worth depends on the number of likes I get on any of my ejaculations on social media (and yeah just used the antiquated meaning of ejaculation not a literal ejaculation). After a week of refraining from looking at my stats for this site I really expected a lot more, got a decent number of views but damn even one like would've been nice. 

I think I've forgotten what it's like to start a blog, I've forgotten the weeks of waiting for a like or two to just dribble in to my notifications, hoping, just hoping some generous netizen would press their like button for me and usually never getting one. I've grown greedy and complacent in my daily blog, self-assured and forgotten the need for a daily grind to try and get a few views. 

Maybe it's just hard to like things, perhaps you need a login or something, or perhaps, just maybe my content is trash and just doesn't deserve likes. Sombre thought to end it. 

Also yeah totally clickbaited the title, haters are still views.

If you do decide to waste the energy to like this post just remember it goes a long way in terms of giving this nerd the self-confidence he needs to get through the day.

Published by Kevin Li