Shooting stars landed on the bending road, swirling my journey into a haven of haphazard lights, earth-bound

Floating, the wind wrapped me in its curling waves and rolled me in, transporting my body in an embryo conceived by gods and men — half-breed

I am connected to the earth and tied to the skies, the stories of my ancestry ring true only when hummed to the alignment of moon and sun — ecliptic in tone

The mood here is off-beat, this half-breed dance is linear to that of man — non-linear in nature, I am

as I walk in commemoration of it, as the hum of every eclipse, I pause to listen to the timeless love made between river and wind, sky and earth —

as the hum to the leaves flap their wings harmoniously with the sun, inscribing stories from the earth and skies onto their skin, curating the ridges of the trunk that groove into hieroglyphic roots posturing in such ways that call forth the various undertones of strength needed in a world that doesn’t listen or speak their curvy tone

These transportations keep me in constant motion, in constant rebirth — like water that ebbs and flows in the ten-thousand directions from the source

This takeoff has no pull nor push, it just is — formless

In this formlessness, I am formed with the passing of time, and with the passing of time, I am formlessly reborn, reforming the curvature of my skin and bones — adapting to the various strengths and undertones that pertain to the unknown, grooving their way through me, creating ridges and bridges that build stories from the hum that birthed me

I am unlearning the noise and language passed down to me from the break between gods and men — hieroglyphic tales

In the break is the hum

In the hum is silence

In silence

I am

In the process of letting go, I was forced to start fresh — to literally pick up and leave that comforting place of thought, location, emotion, way of being, that may have once brought solace but now brings dis-ease. I found myself getting caught up in the whirlwind of dissatisfaction with the way things are, and the way things should be. Living in the past becomes my present while putting future goals into action, but that doesn't unravel as smoothly as one presumes, and I just keep meeting my self at the same place I leave my self — circles that grow larger with time, adding further dissatisfaction, creating stronger waves of emotion. My past habitually meets my future, creating a present that is never enough.

Future goals then serve as reminders to focus, stay present, strive, to not give up. These reminders then become my reason for getting up in the morning, my reason and purpose to exist — because why else am I here? But is that all — is my sole reason for existence to attain, acquire, and surpass the goals I set for myself which lead to further goals that enlarge the circle I create for my self — always returning to the same place.

Granted, my return brings experience and knowledge that will serve as new ways of seeing, thinking, and creating, but my drive for attainment and fulfillment relentlessly follows suit. Will I ever be at peace with my self, with the way things are — we seek, we find, we conquer. I seek but do not find. I find but am not satisfied. I conquer without receiving. The cycle continues.

The way things are have always been in relation to how I expect them to be. My expectations arise from past experiences, customs, beliefs, and imagination. They each play such a crucial role in how I develop or (un)develop my self in the world. There is so much at play, so many connections and triggers that bind me and tie me down, it's no wonder I no longer feel free in a world that hungrily breeds confinements and limitations.

Rarely do we discuss the dark alley-ways our labyrinth of imagination can quickly diverge us to without warning — and more than often it leads us to a dead-end street corner where we have no other option but to walk back the way we came from, confronting that darkness all over again. I am walking back. These dark corners have created my world of depression, anxiety, angst, resentment, guilt, despair, disillusionment, resignation, resistance, the list goes on, and the root of my effervescent world is Fear.

I undergo cycles of resisting the way things arethe way things should be, and succumbing to fear. Three constants that fluctuate with intensity during each cycle. The interval between cycles differs from person to person, but its intensity is sure to rise and fall. The height and depth to which it rises and falls also differs from person to person, but its intensity is just as forthcoming. This is the inevitability of my human existence: cycles, rising and falling, height and depth.

This is how the earth and sky exists, how nature, stars, constellations, and galaxies exist: cycles, rising and falling, height and depth. My connection to earth and sky is vast and infinite yet I live my life so confined and limited. I have learned to not dwell or rely so much on the engrained primal questions of "who, what, how, when, where, and why?" The questions that lead to further questions with one-sided answers that have no resolution or absolute truth. So all I have is this to offer you (and my self):

be vast and infinite like the earth and sky that flows and fluctuates in cycles, rising and falling, flowing its course as is, with neither past nor future paving its way but rather heights and depths creating the way

You and me, we are infinite — this, I truly believe. I also believe that in resistance dwells freedom, that in resignation dwells love, that in darkness dwells light.

Thank you,

from my space travels,

I love you,

-B

Published by iCreate Arts, Roots, Peace #Imrootingforyou