Author: Jasmine Warga

What I think about this book?

        I've seen this book first on Instagram and it really caught my interest because of its pretty cover. My first thought was that this book will be about love but I didn't expect it to be about suicide. This book sympathizes with those who suffers from depression. I felt like this book was written for teenagers who are too affected with their problems and was written to give hope to them like they don't have to end their lives just because they feel hopeless.

     This book made me smile and made me feel kilig because of the characters' love venture. It was an exciting read and I couldn't remember if it bored me even for a bit. I expected to cry at least once, but it never happened. So don't worry, it's not heartbreaking. ;)

What is it about?

From the book:

      Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back , and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

      There's only one problem: she's not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel's convinced she's found her solution--Roman, a teenage boy who's haunted by  a family tragedy, is looking for a partner.

      Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill each other's broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.

“You're like a grey sky. You're beautiful, even though you don't want to be.”

From the blogger:

     Aysel decided to end her life in the near future because she was convinced that she inherited her father’s evildoing. She felt like what her father did was flowing through her blood. After her father was imprisoned for the crime he had done, Aysel lived with her mother and her stepfather and her two half siblings.

       It was hard for Aysel to live in a world where people look at her and see what her father did. She came across a website for suicidal people who want to have a partner in ending with their lives. That’s where she met Roman.

        As they plan on their death arrangement, Aysel and Roman found some comfort with each other, some kind of understanding. They became closer and closer. And they helped each other a lot when it comes to running errands as the final day draws near. They knew each other more by knowing the reasons why they want to die.

        As the scheduled day of their death became nearer, Roman saw something in Aysel: hope. Likewise, Aysel saw something more in Roman. She saw something big not only in the near future but further. She knew she shouldn’t let his life end just like that. So Aysel decided to make him see that, that there’s more to life than his past. Aysel decided there’s still hope for him, and for her. The only thing she needed to do is to convince Roman to live.

  • Don't let yourself drown into depression.
  • If you are depressed or suicidal, go get help. Telling people how you feel can really help you.
  • Remember, dawn comes after the darkest hour.
  • Not all our thoughts are correct. Sometimes we thought no one cares about how we feel but they're just waiting for you to talk to them.
  • There will come a day that we can meet the person who can make us see things in a different view, to make us a better version of ourselves.
  • Your parents' legacy is not yours. You can always make your own ;).
  • Don't hide in the shadows of the past.


  1. A bit cliffhanger.
  2. It's an easy read. It doesn't involve too much deep words.
  3. The involvement of Physics was very smart and it was well explained. It didn't complicate the book, not even some of the message.
  4. Roman is very sweet. <3
  5. I love Aysel's strong will to change her fate and Roman's.
  6. A BIT OF A SPOILER: I'm kind of disappointed that Aysel didn't get the chance to talk to her father.

I recommend this book to those who are sad, to those who feel like they are alone and no one is there for them.

“Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”


Published by Liezel Dollente