In a drama I watched a few years back, I remember one of the characters saying "The only thing we have a lot of is time." My question is: Do we actually have a lot of time? Time flies by, not just when you're having fun, but all the time. Whenever I'm sitting on the bus to NY or to Boston, time flies by. In those 4+ hours, I sit there like a statue and stare off into space. What feels like one hour actually turns into 4 hours. There's a reason why I don't like to travel in the middle of my day, and would rather travel either early in the morning or later at night/afternoon. It's when I realized, we really need to make better use of our time.

Every night when I sleep, I look at my phone and start calculating how many hours of sleep I am going to get. I know I can't be the only one who does this, but it made me think about how much I value my time. I know sleep is important and I normally need about 7-9 hours of sleep every night, but I also don't like sleeping in because it wastes most of my day. I guess that's the main reason why I naturally wake up at 7:30-8 AM everyday. I love waking up early and being productive. Even if I'm not being productive, at least I'm doing something rather than pointlessly rolling around in bed. I get so frustrated when people stay in bed all day, especially when I make plans with them because it moves everything back and ends up wasting my time and day. I don't think that sleeping late is an excuse to sleep in because I could be sleeping at 3 AM and I'll still wake up at 8AM (or 9) the next day. Maybe part of the reason is that I don't feel productive once the sun goes down and when it's night time, I always just think that it's time to watch my dramas and sleep.

I bring this up because it just hit me how fast the past few years have flown by. When I was a little kid, time went by so slowly that I wished I was grown up already. Now, I don't know whether I'm ready to be an adult or not. I wish time would just slow down and let me catch up. I can't believe that I'm already graduated from high school and half way through my college career. There's so much more that I want to do while I'm this age and so much more that I want to learn. I know the next two years are just going to fly by and I want to be able to look back and say "Ah, 2018 was a good year; I did this, this and this. I achieved this, this, and that." I hate myself for always telling myself that I'll be more involved this semester, only to back out on it and set this new goal for the next semester. By the time I graduate, I'll get nothing done and feel like I've achieved nothing. I talk about how time is so valuable to me on a day to day basis, but I feel like I've still been using my time unwisely. I actually get so much anxiety when I get absolutely no work done on some days because I literally wasted a day in my life where I could have been doing something so much better and grander.

There are 24 hours in a day, 8760 hours in a year. There's so much I could get done and I could get so much further in life if I only used my time wisely. So here, I set my new goal: do one thing, just one, that makes you proud of yourself everyday.

Published by Karen K.