Currently, I am sitting at home listening to the new Frank Ocean album on loop and contemplating what to do with my day. *Sidenote* if you have not listened to the whole album in full, you should stop reading and go do that then come back to this…even if its not your thing. But anyway back to my post.

 Yes, at almost three in the afternoon, I am still trying to be as productive as ever and plan my day.  I have to admit that for as long as I can remember, I’ve had this obsession with planning every little detail of my life. It started with days, then weeks then whole years. By the age of fourteen, I had planned exactly what I wanted to do with my life.  By age 25, I wanted to have graduated from a top UK University with a degree in History; qualified as a lawyer and ready to move to Brussels to embark in a career as a European lawyer. Of course by age 27, I wanted to have met the love of my life and by age 30, I wanted to be married with three children - two boys and a girl because I had always wanted my parents to have a third child. This was before, I realised how difficult it is to actually stick to one plan in life. Looking back now, I blame all those journals you get as a kid that ask you “Where do you see yourself in ten years time?” that at age fourteen, I had this elaborate plan that I was convinced was going to happen.  But they were not solely to blame, I also blame myself first and foremost for letting outside pressures from such a young age deposit this idea that if you were not thinking about the future, you were not normal or you would not be successful. I of course, took things a bit too seriously and made sure I had my whole life planned out without room for changes. At age 20, I’m getting ready to live, study and work in Munich for the next year as part of my four year German and Classics degree, not the history degree that was part of my plan. This summer, in particular, the fourteen year old in me, thought that I could salvage this life plan by still getting some experience in the field of law to prove to myself that yes, all that planning was not for nothing.  But as I am two weeks away from the end of my marketing internship, I’m realising that yes it is good to plan a little but its also ok to not have a plan. It’s ok that I actually am not studying a history degree because I love the fact that when I finish my degree *fingers crossed, I will be fluent in another language and have experience living abroad. It’s ok that I do not want to go into law anymore because frankly it would mean a lot more studying instead of exploring the world – which I cannot wait to do.  But hey this might change because I have no idea what type of person I’m going to be in two years or even in a couple of months. This summer, I have planned a lot and some things have failed and other plans have been successful. But overall, I’ve learned that not having a plan really can be a blessing in disguise.  I’ve had some fantastic experiences and some really terrible ones over the last three months.  Yet, I still would love to say to my fourteen year old self and anyone else who can relate – stop planning every single detail of your life, its ok not to know how your life is going to turn out.

Check out my blog urbanappetit.com for more from me.

Published by Bisi Adejumo