Hi. I do not know how many letters I have made for you, both typewritten and handwritten, but I believe if I let this all out, I can hang out with you without the awkward feeling of me liking you.

First of all, I never intended to. It was just two years ago when I’ve admitted that the reason why I look for you all the time, and the reason why I always wanted to be with you is because I feel ultra-comfortable around you. I can say whatever I want to, I can act however I wanted to, I can go wherever I want to. It seems stupid, but I just gain my utmost confidence when I’m with you. Because I believe we were that close.

For me you were my best friend, but it started feeling weird when I started to feel as if you’re doing fine without me. And I don’t want that. I  want me to be your closest friend. I want to be the first person they think about when they mention your name. I want to be the first person to tell your secrets to.

With these thought in mind, I finally admitted that I cannot live without you. I ahve been do depended with you, I feel like dying if you leave me for someone else. But it shouldn’t be this way. No friendship shall ever be this way.

I deeply apologize if I crossed any line, but I never thought I liked you more than I should. I never thought it’ll fucked up like this. But I’ll pick our friendship over this foolishness, come on. I would not lose you over pathetic feelings.

I am sorry if I had to lie to you everyday. This shit is hard to keep. But I’d always choose you over this fucked-up feelings. Over anything else in the world, I would always pick you.

 

Originally posted at: lochnessfreak.wordpress.com on Nov. 7, 2016