“Everything you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not be.”

There will always be a question in my head, that makes me open my eyes everyday and realize that somethings happening, that I am still alive and things that happened do not make me complete anymore, even that makes me realize that I don't live in past anymore, and so-

Why is it so hard to let your old habits die?

Let's be honest with each other. If we are doing something in regular basis, there is like 100% security that after something fucks up, you won't be very eager to let it go just like that. The Great Gate of Habits is something that stands here for such a long time without us knowing it's even here. It is closed like the gates of Azkaban from Harry Potters series, and no one's leaving until he'll somehow escapes. Well, this is it, the habits sometimes escape The habit gate and leave you. You are trying to find it, you are looking everywhere and yes, there are times when you find them, but also that you won't find them at all. Let's say anymore.

There are habits that makes us feel alive, that makes us continue in our life, that makes us feel the joy, that makes us be passionate about something, that makes us feel that you are finally part of something that makes sense. Those habits that are not toxic and gives you the opportunity to be creative (or not creative at all), full of expectations and happiness. Only particular habits make you realize why the life is so good and precious, that you have some path to continue on, to have some freaking purpose.Those you really don't want to lose all of this, I am sure.

There are also habits that you intentionally produce and not even realizing how toxic are for you, make your life miserable, those which are wrong on so many levels, that much it all makes you realize that you are again falling into that dark world- but still, you chose it! You are the one who let it come back into your life, you are the one torturing yourself with all those things that you will never see again, but you'll also never change them. I am not just talking about smoking or drinking but about thoughts that surprise you in the worst minute of your day.

We, as  human beings, are trying to get rid of those bad habits and replace them with those which makes us feel something. I am not saying that people are successful every single time, but you know what? They are at least trying, they are not sitting in their sad flats, pitying themselves all day. They grab the opportunity and they lead the crowd to the better mood of tomorrow.

Yes, there are times when even the happiest people doubt the happy period, because happiness is so fragile and it can break any minute. They are afraid of losing it, that's why are they still going back there sometimes to remind themselves that yes, it was a bad period of my life, but it always can be worse. I just decided that-

"I am not losing my sleep over something that won't give me anything for the future."

No one's saying it's like that,but that's how it's supposed to be. Am I right?

So let me take this umbrella and simply leave it all here.

Nina ∞ 



Published by Nina S