​     Today was one of the most productive days I've had in a VERY long time. I fixed my site, ShyTalkLee.com, FINALLY! Unfortunately, I don't like it so I'll probably spend all day tomorrow fixing it after spending all night fixing my WordPress. What's wrong with me? I'm like some sort of perfectionist or something. I need things to be a certain way, especially something that I know is going to be critiqued. I'm hard on myself and while my mom thinks that's a flaw of mine, I consider it one of my greatest qualities. Me being so hard on myself, makes me not go so hard others when they insult me. (: you're welcome. I don't think I'm perfect, lord knows I'm FAR from It, but I'm proud of the young woman I am. Someone keeps calling me self absorbed & I'm starting to think maybe they're jealous of me, that's why they keep trying to put me down by telling me I'm everything that's wrong with them, that make sense? Everyday they find their self trying to tell me about me, when I don't even think they know themselves. The internal hate burning inside this person is as clear as day.

     I've heard misery loves company before but I never witnessed it until I met them. Same thing applies to the crabs in a bucket metaphor. I always want to my friends to succeed and I'm always there for support. Never have a met a "friend" that'll stop others from doing what's best for them. This person is probably the reason why I only have 1 friend today, lol. wtf is a friend? I sincerely tried helping this person and was very nice, I think, when I told them, "you need to learn how to love yourself. Until you start loving yourself, nothing anyone does or none of the love anyone gives you will be enough." You'd think being in their late 20's they'd know that.
     Since I've been around this person I've watched how they deal with people and I don't understand how they still have teeth. Some of their friends have confided in me and all of them say the thing. Their family even said the same thing as their friends, but enough about that. I want to talk about what they said about me, since I'm so self absorbed, lol. Okay so apparently I'm fake because I speak proper but when I get mad I start talking "ghetto". What the hell is talking ghetto? Child please, you can take a girl out the hood but you can't take the hood out the girl. I am a BLACK woman living in America, if I ever want to get a job, I have to speak proper. Go ask every black woman you know and they'll tell you how they speak at work is not how they speak at home. You have to know how to turn it on & off is what my mom taught me. I think the fact that I was getting in their ass and they saw another side of me that they didn't like is why they said that. When I'm mad, my hands do most of the talking until my fist take over, lmao. Me having an attitude and cursing, moving my neck and using hand gestures doesn't make me ghetto boo, sorry! Try again.
     So all of a sudden I don't listen & always have something negative to say because I feel the need to respond whenever someone is talking about me. I mean I can either correct you or knock your teeth out for talking shit, I guess I'll give people that option next time, I apologize. If someone is speaking about me 9 times out 10 they're talking to me because everyone knows not to talk about me without me being there to defend myself. So me responding isn't me not listening, its us having a CONVERSATION. If you say something about me and you're right, I'll agree, but if not I'll correct you. Now if I wasn't listening, how would I be able to correct you? It's mighty funny how this was said after me telling this person to stop listening to respond and just listen.
     After 21 years of living, I learned I think I know everything, but I don't. Oh, okay, that's interesting. I never once claimed to know everything, but after being on my own for 6 years, I think I know more than your average 21 year old. When I see someone doing something and it's obvious they don't know what they're doing, or if asked, I'll give my 2 cents. What you do with my help, is completely up to you. That doesn't mean I know everything. Coincidently, this person has something to say about any and everything being talked about it. What ever you say, they can relate. They've either done it before or did something better. The world doesn't revolve around you booboo, calm it down and have several seats, smh. They told me we're always competing with each other. HOLD THE HELL UP, WHO IS WE? I don't compete with NOBODY because I'm in my own lane and not even in race. I'm too worried about me, myself and I to be concerned about anybody! I stay to myself , so remind me again who I'm competing with?
     I could tell this person they did something to hurt my feelings or make me mad and their response is always, "I DID _____ BECAUSE YOU DID ____" Ugh, just apologize, correct yourself, and don't ever do it again. If what I did was so bad, then why didn't they come say something to me about it? That's bullshit.. I've never met an adult unable to take responsibility for their actions. I've realized I can't speak to this person because their not on my level. Our conversations turn into arguments and the next argument could turn into a homicide, because I'm not playing around anymore. I can't take disrespect like lying, especially to my face. I've had to get on some kid shit and treat them the way they treat me & they don't like it. You can't have a conversation with this person because intellectually, mentally it's like their 13. I'm too grown for that.  

 

Published by ShylahBoss Lee