One More Light......

The world of many Linkin Park fans were devastated and in so much shock with the news that the singer and to some of us a beloved hero, Chester Bennington aged 41 had committed suicide and had hung himself.
In the space of knowing yesterday and to 3pm this afternoon minus a couple of things I had to do this morning at the dentist, I have religiously had Linkin Parks music in my ears as a huge fan and devastated by the loss of someone who was so gifted, I didn't have an easy childhood and I don't like discussing it on a public area as much as my blog, it wasn't terrible but its wasn't easy, but I can remember the first Linkin Park song which was 'Breaking the Habit' and from the age of 13 years old they became a huge part of my life alongside Evanescence getting me through some of the most difficult or hardships of my teenage and even to now the adult sides of my life. 
There is no mistake and no loss is easy, even if I never had seen them live, this band still deeply touched me with there music and hearing the news broke my heart.
People don't realise that mental health is not something physically or easy to be shown or to diagnose or to get help for, Chester had problems of drink and drug issues in his past, but he also was talented and had an amazing career but this doesn't mean that the mental health issues cannot happen to anyone rich or famous, poor or not, doesn't matter who you are, it can happen to anyone.
I am strongly for Mental Health Awareness, I am diagnosed by an expert with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Depression, Obsystional Defiance Disorder and I to have a history of sucidal streaks along with self harm.
Even to this day in my 27 years old life, I still have people non believing that I have these problems or conditions or health issues, whatever you want to call it, I still don't have people realise how dark and dangerous my head can get and how much emotional pain I get within it. 
Sometimes even my family are not even sure about what I have or why I do things, or they don't understand, but its there, without the help I wouldn't be here, at 19years old I was on the verge of ending my own life whilst living in Birmingham, I had cut all of my family out of my life, I wasn't eating and I was mourning the loss of someone hugely close to me, along side that I was underweight and ill. 
At 19years old I was so far inside of myself with a black mind is the best way I could describe it, I couldn't see the light anywhere and I was so far gone mentally that if my Dad didn't find me when he did I never would of made it to 20 years old. 
I never thought I would share this publicly on the internet, but what people need more than ever when they feel they want to commit suicide or depressed or anything isn't someone who says its for attention or its not there cause they cannot physically prove it, what everyone who is in that place needs an ear.
Fortunately at my age now of 27years old I am doing better, but I say this lightly, I stopped doing my youtube videos most days because the negative comments some even from people I knew growing up, ruined my self confidence, and then when I was blessed to write for which I do not get paid for, as I am unable to work due to my mental health extremes and more, I have a lot of help to keep me going on a day to day basis.
Chester's death has broken my heart, we are all missing something with his talent being taken away, I have never mourned the loss of someone famous like they were part of my family as deeply before.
If you know someone out there who needs an ear or a boost of help when they are feeling that dark or depressed or anything else, be that ear, be that person who helps them walk through the doctors, be that person who knows they need that extra help.
I am strongly passionate for Mental Health Awareness from my own experiences and how bad I have gotten and how much I am grateful for the day to day support.
And as a title of an emotional song for Linkin Park which came on there newest album this year, the song 'One More Light' really shows the emotions of loss to anyone. One more light has gone out with Chester's suicide and I do and will miss the talented singer.
This has been a very hard blog post to write, however I needed to do so.
Hope you all have a lovely week.
lots of love.

Published by Viccie Hughes