There have been some of the most challenging days and weeks for me over the past 8 months. It feel like I've had a hand around my lungs squeezing every time I'm large groups of people that I have to interact with. Then there is the anxious feelings that come when I think about the triggers that can and have come up at random times and places. Those trigger can mean tears, short term memory issues or even shut down of communication. I hate that I am in this mourning cycle.

I struggle with mourning not because I don't love our children but because I feel so "not me". It's frightening some moments. I can do crowds, strangers, random conversations in my "normal" state. But while processing the loss of two children in a 5 month period along with working and taking care of our family, I find myself paralyzed intermittently as things come up.

You know, it's interesting. I cannot predict most of what "comes up". I see, hear, or smell something that reminds me of Jonathan or Kathryn and an emotion comes up for me. The randomness is a part of what is paralyzing. I can't plan. I can't predict. So what are already traumatic experiences that create shaky ground, now have aftershocks that are continuing months and months later. I'm hoping that just being open to the process will help me. I am also strategically starting each day with essential oils topically, aromatically and internally. For the emotions, topically and aromatically are working really well. What did I use and do I use now for all of this?

In the initial shock of losing our son to mental illness. We had to go through the experience of finding him (my husband found him). and taking care of him as the coroner and police came and worked. We had to make the phone calls and tell our little girls. It was a highly shocking experience. That evening as I used the bathroom, I reached for a blend called Console. I put a drop over my heart, instinctively. Goodness! I felt a lift. Emotions ConsoleI kid you not. I think with my heart being so broken that I was going to feel the difference,if the blend worked. So I wore console as my perfume for 3 months solid. In addition I used Balance (grounding blend) and some of our citrus oils and oil blends for mood lifts.

In the hospital with Kathryn, I used soothing oils like Deep Blue (supports healthy muscles and circulation), frankincense for healthy oxygen levels and cypress for anxious feelings. But once Kathryn was pronounced dead and we went home, I started using a few different oils. This took things to a whole new level. We hadn't finished mourning the loss of our son Emotions Cheerand now we have our little girl gone, too. We all struggled with sleep so we use vetiver, arborvitae and cedarwood as well as lavender at night (in our diffuser or on the bottom of our feet). For our youngest little one, we use the grounding blend Balance, Breathe with cardamom for anger, and juniper berry (helps with nightmares). My mornings have started with lemongrass topically (cleansing aroma for negative emotions),doTERRA's Healing Hands Foundation Rose Lotion, and a blend I made with clary sage (hormones), bergamot, balance, sandalwood, ginger and a couple others. During the day I'll reach for Motivate Blend because it has melissa and for Cheer Blend for a pick-me-up. In those paralyzing moments I reach for Cypress. What a great essential oil!

I can't believe how well these essential oils are working to help me cleanse our negative emotions, keep my heart open to the process and help me create new healthy memories. Because they are globally sustainable-no pesticides, heavy metals, perfumes, additives, they support healthy cell communication. There is nothing to get in the way of them doing the best that they can do.  I keep open to trying a new essential oil from doTERRA's large selection. Each new day requires a little attention. Each experience brings up stuff and gives us the opportunity to create newness in moving forward.

So tonight, as I look at my schedule for the week and have the rushing sense of panic, I am reaching for cypress, frankincense and maybe even cedarwood. I can do this! It feels impossible but I know it's doable. I may still find natural paralyzing moments for a while. I am grateful to have these essential oils as a tool in my life to support an empowered, healthier me.

Affirmations: Even though I feel that life is out of my control, I know that I am enough. Even though this week brings unknown moments, I am supported and in the present moment. I am happy and strong. I am connected to each of my family members in healthy ways. I am doing hard things and staying open to the journey. I have enough time. I have enough love. I feel supported. I am supported. I have faith in the journey.

Essential Oils (click here to order): Cypress, Motivate, Cheer, Console, cedarwood, frankincense, juniper berry, Balance, clary sage, bergamot, ginger, vetiver, lavender,

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Emotions Wheel

Published by Sherrill Moody