I'm sitting here attempting to collect my thoughts enough to give you guys at least half of a blog and can hardly do that. As of lately I've been questioning myself about where I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going. Maybe because I'm still young, it always seems like once I start finding my way and figuring shit out, something happens that makes me not even want to push through. I'm constantly having to remind myself that's just how life goes. People tell me all the time I've had it so rough and because my path Isn't the smoothest means my final destination is going to be greater than anything I could ever Imagine. I've watched my mother cry telling me how she prays and questions god EVERYTIME about me, but if she can believe he didn't and isn't making me go through this for nothing, then I guess I can too. Honestly though, I don't blame anyone for anything I've gone through but myself. Of course like any abused child, I questioned why, until I realized there isn't a reason why. Which is why I always say, "SHIT HAPPENS". I'm a realistic person, and this causes problems in a lot of my relationships, actually it's why I don't want a relationship.
 
Your actions need to match your words. I've been in sales a majority of my life so I know how conniving people can be when it means getting you to do something that benefits them. Being in fucked up relationships and putting my trust in the wrong people has showed me when it comes to saving your own ass, people will do and say whatever. I literally was just saying this the other day. We live in a world filled with selfish, greedy, manipulating, untrustworthy people and you expect me to believe in something called "world peace?" Unless it's first name is META, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. There's so much HATE in the world, I'm surprised we even know what peace is. What I cant and don't understand is this;  Hate starts within, So if you hate yourself so much, why not work on whatever it is that's affecting you instead of trying to makes other's as miserable as you? Why does misery love company if no one wants to around misery? I never understood how tearing someone else down could make you feel better? An abusive man for example, how could tearing your partner down build you up? Especially when you're supposed to be a team?
 
It's crazy I'm writing about this because CNN just started talking about Donald Trumps comments yesterday and it makes me wonder, does he hate himself or is he just an asshole?  How could someone who hates himself feel as if they're better or above anyone or anything? I hate how egotistic people can be. In my 21 years of living here on this earth, every stuck up person I've met, every person sitting high on that horse looking down their noses at everyone else, had serious problems beyond what we could see. Is that why their outside looks so perfect? Due to it being so filthy on the inside? Considering money can't buy happiness, what humbles a narcissistic? It's sad I've met poor people happier than ones with money. Why is that? 

Published by ShylahBoss Lee