I have many friends of mine taking on chaos - frequently calling me and asking me to save the day. I often get the question: how are you doing so well? Especially in terms of my breakup. 

It was a well-known fact that I loved my boyfriend. I planned a future with him and I melted into his eyes...over, and over, and over. We bought a home, we had three dogs, we had dreams of a fairytale wedding.

Despite that, there I was - standing, watching everything we had built fall - brick by brick. I was frozen as the ruins came down, unable to move into action and save what I could. I just watched as the foundation to my relationship turned into rubble. There was no monumental turning point that broke us. It was just that - piece by piece, brick by brick.

Breakups are excruciating. I dreaded mine for months. Perspective is a powerful tool. I decided I did not want to be eternally heartbroken. I did not want to crash down with my relationship. My purpose was to never be this man's wife - even if I had been his wife. My purpose is to be my own, and to do great things, on my own. 

I cried once. A heart-wrenching sob over the demise of my relationship. I loved this man, and he was no longer mine. My life became reformulated without him. Yet, our building was not my building. I still existed - building myself higher with the ruins of what once stood as my life with him. 

If you want to survive, you will. The degree you feel is not a tribute to your love for that person. Eat your ice cream and welcome an ugly cry - let it hurt. However, after that, change your perspective. Believe that you can heal and become stronger. You just have to believe it. 

Perspective, in all things, can be used for you or against you. Perspective creates your unique reality. Perspective can make or break you. 

Published by Celina Dawdy