by S.A. Prince

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” Can I take about 200 words of your time to talk about the absurdity of this phrase, often employed by women?

This is essentially an underhanded ultimatum. When somebody tells you that you don’t deserve them at their best unless you can handle them at their worst, they’re playing an emotional zero sum game. At their absolute worst, which of course is undefined and unrealized, regardless of how deep that valley may be, you MUST accept that behavior in order to merely have the privilege of enjoying their best qualities. It’s an extension of the ideology behind the marriage rhetoric “for better or for worse.”

We use such ornate phrases, yet rarely do we internalize them. The dauntingly high divorce rate is evidence of this. Perhaps we are seeking the wrong things from marriage (and relationships), and the entire concept should be reformed? It couldn’t possibly get worse, right?

Let’s take an admittedly extreme but effective example of “If you can’t handle me at my worse, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” Imagine somebody making this statement: America, if you can’t handle radical Islam, then you don’t deserve the fulfilling experience of Islam’s spiritual depth and piety.

Need I say more…you shouldn't have to suffer through somebody's worst to deserve their best. That's nothing more than an excuse to treat you as a doormat, to be walked on, spit on, and looked over. Don't let that happen to you. Set your limit from jump street, and get out when it is reached. 

Published by S.A. Prince