Dear great spirit I have these splitting headaches when I stand up . I also get so light headed when I stand up that i almost pass out . I need answers to these puzzles of life . Writing seems to be one of the few things a guy can do basically for free . It’s really hard to stay motivated when the people you live with are constantly thwarting your plans . I am out of ideas on how to proceed today .

This “physical labour ” job is actually a sales job with no haunted of pay until you make a sale . I specifically asked the lady on the phone about the job position and she evaded the question entirely . What’s with these group interviews with people in suits forcefully pushing there money making ideas down my throat . Can’t I get a regular job interview where I work 40 hours a week and get a nice paycheck ?  Where I don’t have to put in 3 full study days of sales “education ” for free . So I adopt all these selling ideas that I damn well know are not straight forward or honest . To go out to sell a product that I might or might not sell . Jesus that’s asking a lot for someone with no money to even get to work . Dear lord is it too much to ask the company you work for to not be a cult of suit wearing money robots .

I feel like money is good but only to a certain point. I don’t want a get rich quick scheme job. Also do I really have to wear a shit eating grin all the time ? I really don’t enjoy feeling like a plastic robot who smiles 24/7 . I enjoy feeling a range of emotions without fear .

Dear lord / great spirit. Please give me the strength to live my life to the fullest everyday of my life . I could use motivation and lots of it . Help guide my choices so that I may bear fruits of abundance . I don’t want to sow seeds that I can’t even eat . Help guide me to a beneficial life .

May Bhudda guide my heart closer to the powers that control the universe . May I connect to beings and energy that support me and my girlfriend’s well being . To help us thrive and live well . Like the holy creatures that we are .

Published by James Jantzen