Only 9 days left of this 28 day detox. You would think I would be over the moon knowing I am in the homestretch. Ok, well, I thought I would be over the moon. Instead I am angry again. Angry at having an autoimmune disorder. Angry that I have to choose between eating like everyone else or eating clean for the sake of my health. Angry that I always make choices to grow and it sucks. Growing is hard. It's lonely at times.

Sometimes I think self love is for the birds. I mean who in their right mind actively chooses misery in the name of growth? UGH! I do. And now I am having a pity party. Let me be.

The reality is (and I'm totally huffing and pouting when I say this) that I am glad I choose growth. I am proud that that is who I am. I love that I am willing to endure temporary pain for the sake of long term joy. Because although in the midst of it I don't remember about the joy, when I come out the other side, I am a better person. Every. Single. Time.

So, I will put on my big girl pants, suck it up for 9 more days and endure. At the end of those 9 days I will be challenged by maintaining this clean lifestyle, but at least I can do it with some roasted veggies and maybe even some beans.

Know how I'm feeling? Hook up a sister, let me know I'm not alone!

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Published by Melinda Schmitt