A cloudy mind,
swarming with thoughts
and questions,
on how to make this easier,
on how to stop the whirring
in my eerily numb mind.
It gets louder,
and louder still.
The deafening sounds continue,
surrounding,
choking,
obscuring
my sanity,
or what’s left of it.

I try to block the clamor,
that threatens to seep out my ears,
and make it known to the world
that I struggle,
struggle with things unknown,
struggle with things
I can’t seem to kill.
Yet they kill me every day.

The urge it gets stronger,
and stronger still.
The urge to hurt myself,
the urge to bleed,
so I can stop the thunder,
and retrieve the sanity I have lost,
Because nothing else will make it go away.
And I can’t live with it.

My mind blares,
and I’m trying to make sense
of the words I’ve thrown onto this page,
but nothing much makes sense anymore,
and I’m getting weaker,
withdrawing from the world,
so I don’t have to deal with the noise
in company;
the demons get angry
when I don’t listen to them,
like a child nagging,
seeking attention.
I must answer them.

I don’t talk about them,
they don’t like it.
But they’re asleep right now,
so read between the lines,
pay close attention,
and listen when I whisper help,
before I tell them,
take me.

Published by Lamiah Nasir