You ever have such a shitty day you wish you could go back in time to when everything was perfect? I know things are not always going to be perfect or go my way but DAMN!!! I don’t think I want any more kids after this. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a happy time for the woman? I’ve never been more depressed, stressed, used or abused in my life. There’s literally only one person who genuinely cares about me being pregnant and doesn’t stress me out, and it’s NOT the sperm donor. This is not how I imagined things being, and if I would have known things were going to play out like this I would of “handled” the situation when I had the chance to.

I’m currently staying with my mother in her 2-bedroom house with my little sister and I have no idea where I’m going to put these babies. I understand why my mom said this pregnancy isn’t fair to her. She’s in one room and my sister in another. I sleep downstairs and I’m guessing I’ll put the babies on the couch. Like wtf is that? I’m going to turn her living room into a nursery? Yea right. I’ve been back and forth from the couch to recliner and the more weight I gain the more my body is hating it. I can’t do this forever; I can barely do this now. I JUST got 2 drawers to put my clothes in, literally today, and need to go buy hangers so I can hang my stuff up. Where am I going to put the babies stuff? I’m going to end up putting my clothes back in suitcases and giving my drawers to them. When I start buying diapers and stuff I’m going to have to clean out the downstairs closet and store stuff in there. I feel like shit.

When I think about shit like this it makes me resent the sperm donor because he should be stepping up and helping me figure this shit out and we should be working towards a solution. UUUGGGHHH! I’m crying, I’m going to stop now. If only it could be Saturday again. 

Published by ShylahBoss Lee