What makes a successful relationship? A good sex life? Trust? The ability to compromise? Never going to bed angry?

Everyone probably has their own opinions of why their relationship is successful as every relationship is personal and unique. Some argue a lot, from an outsider point of view many think this would be destructive whereas the couple think by having small constant arguments they avoid shouting matches.

So I asked my boyfriend what he thought about this blog and to offer what he thought was the answer to a successful relationship. 'I need to think, stop typing', 'Close the computer, I'm trying to watch the football'. Well, maybe another time. Guess I will never know what really goes on in that head of his. Maybe, that is a good thing, maybe that is what helps, I kind of don't want to know how he gets to those end decisions that he makes because it doesn't half baffle me.

He has finally told me what he thinks makes us a strong reliable couple. After an argument he wants to talk about it, chat about the small details. For me I dislike it, it's frustrating, but I know it means something to him so I will always try my hardest to confide in him and talk about it. We are both strong minded people and we butt heads often, but we always come out on top. Think this is just considering each others needs and fulfilling them, if he feels valued then he is going to value me.

My best friend offered me great advice:

'will you remember this in a months time?'                   'well no, I guess not'

'Then let it go mate.'

This advice has stayed with me, instead of blowing a small thing out of proportion, I'll stay a little calmer and simply get my point across, rather than slamming doors and smashing plates.

Does a good sex life lead to a better relationship? Studies show that sex reinstates feelings of trust and intimacy. Thus, logic would suggest that having a good sex life is fundamental to a trusting loving relationship. I'd totally agree, there may be spells when sex is off the cards for a while due to work, illness etc. These weeks we are more likely to have small arguments and be shitty with each other. It is amazing how massive the change is.

Feeling comfortable is massively important, actually being yourself with someone. To do that you do really have to feel safe and trust that person. You don't have to dress up all the time, try to be witty, be something your not. The most important thing is trust. It takes ages to build and seconds to take away. It took me a long time to trust others again, but instead of holding back, I threw myself into it and thought why not?

Relationships should push you out of your comfort zone, it should make you a better person. How does your other half benefit your life? You may say that is selfish, but if this is long term, you want it to enrich one another's lives, become better, become successful and grow together, reach all your goals and dreams together.

Everyone has different visions of a perfect relationship, what works and what doesn't. As long as you are happy that is all that matters.

Published by Katy-Jane Pitt