There is something about the act of going to bed that sends my anxious mind into overdrive. However, it is inevitable that when I wake up, these thoughts seem ridiculous and downright crazy. So, I thought that I would document some of these bedtime thoughts in a blog post.

Here are some of the things that I think about when I should be sleeping:

  1. “What if I die in my sleep?”
  2. “What if my dog dies while I sleep?”
  3. “What do I do if my parents die?”
  4. “What if I have some form of terrible cancer that I don’t know about.”
  5. “Why do I have to have anxiety? Why couldn’t I have a functional brain?”
  6. “Why do I get these crazy thoughts at nighttime?”
  7. “What is the best way to escape my house if a murderer breaks in?”
  8. “What will it feel like to die?”
  9. “I have gone too long without posting on my blog. I need to write a post.”
  10. “I am 26 and agoraphobia has wasted years of my life. What if I run out of time to get married and have a family?”
  11. “Why are humans horrible to each other? I have lost hope for humanity.”
  12. “What if I die and none of my friends know about it because they live abroad? Who will tell them.”

Alas, these are some of the thoughts that keep me awake at night. As you can see, pondering the inevitably of death is a big theme for me; it always has been. Death is my biggest fear.

Is my brain crazy? Or does anyone else have a habit of thinking about ridiculous topics when they go to bed?

Published by Melissa Rose