Sleep has eluded my exhausted mind these past few weeks, worse than usual. Most nights hours tick by before my overloaded brain is suffocated. Ambient sounds constantly distract the process of counting sheep, resulting my brain to become awake all over again like a broken record. Headphones always come into play at some point during the tossing & turning in hopes that a few lyrical lullabies will flow like morphine and allow a few precious zzzz's to be caught. For the most part this dose of music works, however, side effects of wandering down memory lane may occur which only adds to my mind becoming that much more awake and an endless flood of past photos to start shuffling inside.

These past few weeks though, damn these past few weeks... the sand man has apparently gone on vacation. Seconds feel like minutes and minutes feel like hours. Instead of a comfy sweet spot while injecting a few tunes in my mind, I sit in bed, gazing out of the window at the darkened sky and tiny glowing moon that watches over all of the dreaming minds. I believe that my mind has gone past the state of overload, I'm not yet sure what to call that state, but it's most distracting. These are indeed times that I wish coffee packed more of a punch with it's caffeinated beauty. I am not much of a black coffee chick, lattés are my game, I need that liquid crack espresso to kick my ass into gear.

Thoughts and dreams getting to me in ways that they never have. I'm pretty sure that if this slumber Armageddon continues that they day will come where I explode, or in my case implode. ;) Not even Blink 182, Fall Out Boy or Eminem are able to calm the internal buzzing. I have had to result to Netflix in hopes that indulging in a flick or past season of a favorite show will numb the chaos until my steel lidded eyes simply shut, even if for just a couple of precious hours. The only wish that I place on a shooting star these nights is that everyone else out there in this spinnin' world has the sweetest dreams and 7 hours of unbroken slumber. I've been asked why I don't seek help with prescriptional aid... honestly, I do have rare times where destructive thoughts sneak their way in, knowing this I will never trust myself with any tiny pills. I'd rather feel the reality of exhaustion. My personal decision.      



Published by Derra Sabo