You’ve left school, you’ve left college, you’ve left university, you’ve left town or the country, you're now single, or you just need to meet new faces. Whatever your story, sometimes it is just darn difficult to make new friends.

Don’t worry, there are so many of us in the same boat.

We tend to make close nit friendships in early life usually by being flung together in school and going through those oh so awkward years together. As we grow older, some friendships eventually become to look like you are trying to spot a great white shark from the shore line, and that’s OK. Things change, things progress in your life as well as your friends and lifestyle changes made, and it’s no one’s fault.

This obviously doesn’t happen to all friendships, but you may get the few that sail away to the distance and you only keep in contact through seeing their photos and updates posted up on their social media every now and again. But thanks to such social media, it’s a great way for people to hold onto these friendships (even by a thread) because; you know so much about them without even seeing or talking to them (in a non stalker way) i.e. their status, where they live, if they're going on holiday, where they work etc. Social media can help revive friendships (with a bit effort made too).

With all this said, through life, you meet all walks of life through your life experiences, your circle of friends change through; work, events, hobbies, travel and so on. Sometimes, you might just find yourself alone - in my case, I moved to a new city across the globe and wanted to find or create a new circle of friends.

We all know there are various phone apps you can download to keep up to date of events happening in the area (you can read my post about this HERE).

So what the heck is Speed-Friending?

I had come across this event a few times on meetup.com and articles and decided to just try it out, since I had no plans on a Friday night..

Speed-friending is what it says on the tin, just like Speed-dating you have a few minutes with each person, depending on the layout of the room, those sat on the outside of the table would move like a conveyor belt on to the next person when the bell sounds.

With Speed-friending, the atmosphere does not have much pressure and the people you speak to is on a platonic level because they too are looking for friends, not a partner.

What do you talk about and what should you expect?

At the beginning of the night, you are given a piece of paper and a pen to write down names and numbers after each person. Once the bell sounds, it’s time to move onto the next person. But before that, you would ask the person you just had your 5 minutes with to exchange numbers if you want to get in touch after.

Everyone has their own style of introducing themselves and getting to know people, but since you have a few minutes, you have to have a few questions in your head, so that you make use of the time!

Here are a few general questions to get your conversation going:

  • Have you been to speed-friending before?
  • What brings you to speed-friending?
  • Are you from the area?
  • Where were you before moving to the area?
  • How long have you been in the area?
  • Did you go to any festivals this summer?
  • Did you go on any holidays this summer?
  • Do you have any holidays planned for the rest of the year?

Usually when each of you have asked a couple of questions each, your time is up and when you have had a good conversation, it seems to go quicker.

Half way into the night, there is a break, you don’t realise how much talking you are doing and how loud you are speaking so don’t forget to refill your drink to sooth your throat during this time!

Results

Speed-friending definitely cuts down the awkwardness of networking or mixer nights because here, you don’t have to stand back and scope out the room before making your ‘move’ on a group (because once you introduce yourself to a group, the whole group stops talking and  the conversation has to pick up again.. can be awks). You get to have that one-on-one time with each person, engage in a quick conversation and you can usually tell if you want to speak to them again after this.

In my experience so far (I’ve been twice now), I have actually made friends from speed-friending - Friends to explore the city with, friends to go try out a new brunch place or attend events with i.e. boot camps. Activities like these are just sometimes better done with a buddy and if the friendship lasts, then that’s the bonus.

Good luck!
Nat xo

Featured image: storify.com

Published by Natalie W