It is very hard to trust anyone nowadays. No matter how nice and loving you are to people, there will really be that someone who seems to be an epitome of jealousy, betrayal, and “fakeness”; a person who is smiling at you when you are in front of them but is stabbing you when you turn your back. Today, spotting a fake friend is no longer a surprise because they are everywhere. However, we sometimes become quite attached and happy talking with a certain person that we are becoming blind of the signs that that person, who we thought we can trust and treat as a true friend, is actually a backbiting snake.

With a recent experience about being betrayed, not only did I learn a very valuable lesson but I also became more cautious in choosing who to befriend. Spotting a fake friend is not actually hard. The signs since the beginning of the “friendship” is already clear if we will only become more open-minded.

  1. She is nice at people in front of them but says a lot of things behind those people’s back. That is actually already a red flag which means that she can do the same thing–or maybe already doing it–to you. If she is good at smiling in front of the people who she rant about, then she is obviously two-faced. She is a professional backbiter if she is even hanging out with those people like she has no issues with them.
  2. She talks about spreading a gossip about a certain person if things do not go well. Chances are, she is really capable of doing so.
  3. She actually gossips. Do I need to say more? If that person keeps on telling you, “Do not tell anyone that I told you…” each time she tells you a story or she shares things with you about a person which is contrary to what you see on and know about that person, you should know better.
  4. She shares confidential matters. It may be flattering to think that she trust you enough to share confidential matters with you but there are things which she should not share with you anymore especially if it is other people’s secret/s. Not because we are friends with someone does mean we are obliged to share each and every secret we know. We should also learn to respect other people’s privacy and know what we can and cannot share.
  5. She looks at people from head to toe. And you caught her doing the same thing to you.
  6. She have shallow opinions about things. She have a tendency of being narrow-minded and cannot look at and understand things logically or beyond her perspective.
  7. She often tells you that she is jealous of you. May it be with your physical appearance, your relationships or your lifestyle, when she tells you that she is jealous, that can become a reason or one of the reasons for her to betray you. Yes, there are people who will be jealous in a good way enough to be inspired on becoming better, but there are also people who are jealous in a bad way enough to cause harm.

Sometimes we do not think that our friend can betray us but we will never know. We will never know when we will be betrayed. However, do not be paranoid but do not be too comfortable as well. Do not trust too much, do not be attached, and be cautious.

Sometimes a person’s true color can be revealed when you face a misunderstanding. No one person in this world is perfect thus at some point in our lives we decide stupidly, act silly, overreact, and hurt people around us unintentionally. While mistakes cannot be undone, we can be forgiven if we admit our mistake and apologize. Yet, not all people can understand and forgive us no matter how we apologize. There are people who will only look at their side of the story and will overlook our explanation. Suddenly all the good things that we have done for that person will be forgotten and the one mistake that we have done will be emphasized and taken against us.

It is normal to be irritated or angry when we face misunderstanding with a friend. Of course we still have certain emotional limitations. But if we already admitted our mistake, explained and apologized and yet we are answered with sarcasm, our explanation is not heard, all the blames are thrown at us even when the mistake is not solely ours or rumor/s about us is/are being circulated and that rumor came from that person who we thought was our friend, then that person is definitely a fake one because a true friend will still embrace you and would not say anything about you regardless of what the issue has/have been.

Published by Chii Tseng