When someone knows they’re hurting someone that loves them, why do they continue to do so? Act as if you don’t mean shit to them and purposely do things with the intention of hurting you? Know they have your heart and purposely break it, crush it, step on it, chew it up and spit It out, basically saying fuck you and your love for them. Do they really hate you? Do they want you to leave? Should you just walk away?

 When you give your all to someone why do they still feel the need to act as if you don’t? Talk about you like you aint shit. Paint you out to be this monster when they’re the lead in this horror film you call a relationship. Lie dead to your face and even when you’re right, admittedly try to persuade you into thinking you’re crazy. Are you really a fool? Or just a fool in love?

What’s love got to do with it when your intelligence is being insulted. There is no love when someone feels they have to lie to you because aren’t lovers honest with each other? How could you expect someone to respect you when you obviously don’t respect them.

Don’t tell me you love me then treat me as if I’m so random person on the street. Don’t tell me you love me then talk to me like I’m shittier than the dirt on the bottom of your shoes. Don’t tell me you love me when you don’t even love yourself. Don’t tell me you love me when you know you’ve got issues yet you keep me around me and make me suffer as you work through them.

You don’t love me, but I loved you.

I loved you enough to see your flaws and try to support you and work on them with you. I loved you enough to be a listening ear. I loved you enough to be a friend, a real friend. I loved you enough to listen to your lies and not question you about it. I loved you enough to take the abuse. I loved you enough to hate myself so you’d feel good about yourself. I loved you enough to start believing the bullshit you were telling me. I loved you enough to want to take my own life. I loved you enough to silently cry myself to sleep at night or to myself in the shower. I loved you enough to believe I was beneath you. I loved you enough to have your babies.

I love you enough to still be feeling like shit. I love you enough to still consider taking my own life. I love you enough to still hate myself and I love you enough to STILL be crying.  

Feel better yet?

Published by ShylahBoss Lee