My coach Debbie taught me (well lots of other things too) a few years ago to step away from ‘the package’, to leave situations to be that are outside of my control. The fact is we can only control ourselves and what we do. We can inspire others, but not control.

Yet often we waste energy trying to control others, which has the opposite effect to the one want, as no one likes to feel controlled.

When we step away, often things that seemed unsolvable solve themselves. That’s because we have let go and others are then free to decide without attempts by us to engineer an outcome.

My new favourite thing she has taught me is to take the magnifying glass away from people. Often we have others intensely under a magnifying glass constantly analysing what they are doing, almost ‘burning’ them up.

Like stepping away from ‘the package’, it’s liberating to remove the magnifying glass and accept people and just let things be.

It’s amazing again how great that feels for you and for the person you have been analysing.

Magic happens when we stop trying too hard.

Let life be, stop ‘burning’ people.

Originally posted on

Published by Philip Dodson