I met Darkness at a young age.

I met Darkness in a small town, at 4 AM. I met Darkness to the background music of sirens. Darkness introduced itself with the name Suicide.

Darkness then proceeded to make himself at home, overpowering memories and lives. Darkness would reintroduce himself with Grief, Depression and Anger. Occasionally he would leave, but he would come back. He would always come back.

In the midst of my depression, I take myself back to my sixteen year old moments.

I remember the nights where Darkness disappeared; Or, perhaps I was just too reckless to recognize him.

I was sixteen and brokenhearted. I had met a boy that I didn't know (or care to know) a damn thing about. However, I spent a few blissful weeks not getting to know him. It was a casual case of losing another piece of my innocence, and growing up just a tad.

It was 1:30 AM, in the midst of a hot July night. We had decided to go watch the stars in the box of his truck in a farmer's field. 

There we laid underneath the stars, making love to the soft tune of Strawberry Wine.

Making love to Strawberry Wine was not my first taste of love. In fact, it wasn't love at all.

But in the night sky, when Darkness had the opportunity to appear, he didn't.

In the ongoing months where Darkness has erupted back into my life, without warning, flashing my struggles in my face, I like to remind him that there were moments that he didn't exist.

And I know that there will be a hundred more moments that are mine to keep.
 

Published by Celina Dawdy