Now that we’re almost done with his 13A Visa application, it only means that he is really decided to stay here in the Philippines. As I’ve mentioned, we started with a long distance relationship. And now we’re just starting our own version of forever. But how did we really survive long distance relationship? When in fact there are loads of hindrances. I am 5 years older than him, we grew up on a very opposite culture, we live on the opposite side of the world. His night is my morning. My morning is his night. But you want to know our secret? Those hindrances, we didn’t make them as an excuse to survive this. Instead, we treat them as a challenge so we can set goals to look forward to for ourselves.

Of course before we started, there were loads of questions that popped into my mind. “Is he worth it?”, “Is he for real?”, ” Is he just trippin’? “.”Would I be better off dating the water delivery guy in my house? At least he comes to my house everyday!”, “Does he really exist? Or he is just some guy who wants to offer me credit card?”. It even took us ages before we finally see each other on video call! I was also scared that he might ask me to strip my clothes off and have an online sex with him!

But to be perfectly honest, this type of relationship changed me alot. And that is saying something. Because I was the type of person, who actually don’t believe in it. But trust me, this type of relationship will change you, whether you come out of it successfully, giving your long distance relationship a “together forever”, or just end up parting your ways. Either way, it will become part of your life.

But when I met him, I told myself that I’ve finally found my match. The guy who could actually sweep me off my feet, even though I have questions in my mind at first. Despite of these things, I knew there was something special in him that is worth the wait. Worth the relationship, and even worth the tears. Being in a long distance relationship taught me alot of things, and I can totally we successfully survived as we are now happily married.

Long distance relationship taught me how to:

Become patient

I am a very short-tempered person. I easily lose my patience if people can’t get all the things that I am saying, or if ever I can’t get the things that I want especially if it is almost beyond your reach. Not in a brat kind of way, but if I work the hard way I deserve to have a good result, if not better. Long distance relationship’s progress is slow. You have to explore new things and be not scared to step out of your comfort zone! Things won’t happen if you really don’t want them to. Things can be frustrating, especially if you feel like he’s the only one who can understand you, and you need comfort. Most especially if it is holiday. But I can’t believe myself that being in a long distance relationship taught me how to be more patient. It made me realised that you cannot get what you want in an instant. That there’s a reason for everything. And everything is worth the wait.

It taught me how to loosen-up

I am also the type of person who doesn’t like to share things, whenever something bad thing happened to me. I would rather keep things to myself, and just be able to share things once they’re solved. I had some trust-issues to some people that made hard for me to open up with people. But when I met him, he became my online walking diary. I learnt how to share things with him. All my fears, worries and even my small problems.

Save money

Before, I really didn’t care about how I spent my money. But since he decided to come home, I tried to save money. Because I really don’t want him to shoulder everything. I gave up dining on some restaurants with friends, or bar hopping with them, I stopped watching movies on the cinema. I stopped every thing I could think that are not really necessary. No regrets though. Do not get me wrong though. I haven’t forgotten about my friends. I just explained the situation. And luckily for me, they understand.

Appreciate every little thing we have

Time. Communication. Priorities. Those are the keys for a long distance relationships. Every little opportunities we have, like seeing each other on cam for a short period of time, we treasured them. I had a limited time seeing him on cam from way back. I used to lived with my Aunt and I was to embarrass to use the internet. When I had a chance to live on my own, I also had a limited and slow connection. But this didn‘t stop us from seeing each other, at least every 4 days a week. I still give him his “me time” of course. Such as playing football and seeing his friends.

Appreciate our relationship more than anything else

Some people called our relationship as “make-believe”. Since we haven’t met each other in person. Some of them were too pessimistic. But for me, aside from ours is a product of cyber and long distance relationship, for me it is also the same like your regular relationship. We argue. We made up. I cried every night due to frustrations. But it made me appreciate our relationship more than anything else.  Only we weren’t able to be physically with each other. And that’s the magic and beauty of it. You will learn how to set your goals, and work hard for everything just to be with each other.

Nothing beats the feeling when I  woke up with the beep on my Messenger and as I opened the message, he sent me a picture of his passport and tickets. Much more the feeling when I finally saw him on the airport very early in the morning.

Long distance relationships is not for the faint of  heart. It ain’t easy. It requires time, effort, and dedication. Everything is possible. Stop saying ” I wish ” instead say “I will”. You must have the same will to fight the odds. Keep the love burning and be brave enough to face the obstacles of not being together, at least for the meantime. Everything has to work, because YOU WILL MAKE IT WORK.

The trials of being in a long distance relationship made us grow and who we are today. It warms our hearts every time I hear people saying that we inspired them. Long distance relationship ain’t easy. But if it’s with the right person, then I can safely say everything is worth the wait once you finally start with your forever.

Published by Chie Taylor