How did you find your friends?

My high school friend, who is now my young married friend, became my friend because we disliked each other. She was obnoxious. (I don't see any reason to bang on the window of a shop that's clearly closed.) I was judgmental. (No harm in trying; maybe someone will let us in.) I'm still judgmental and she's still obnoxious, but we know each other in a way no one else can, and we laugh so hard together.

I think it's the knowing that's key. How do you attain it, though? How do you start seeing and showing, deeper than the surface? I want to better know the people I encounter every week; many of whom I call friend. I'm trying to learn how the progression happens naturally, as it happened with my high school friend. 

Newly-married life in a new city has been beautiful, fulfilling, and raw. I'm not so newly married now, and, to be a little too honest, the progress I've made in putting down roots feels insufficient. 

Camping in the woods, writing lyrics with my brother, started teaching me to try vulnerability. As always, I'm writing to sort my thoughts and motivate. The call to action is for myself. The question, though, is for you. I'm trying, but I'm struggling. How do friendships get real? Tell me.