“The Buck Stops here”

It’s been a while since I updated a new post. What a journey it has been and an ongoing one still. Long story short, I’ve met great new people, found great job opportunities, found life changing books, and restored my faith. But I’m also dealing with wounded friendships amongst those that I call brothers though we are not blood related.

Everyone goes their separate paths because they have individual goals and dreams, but it’s so painful to realize now that those who you love and care about aren’t there anymore. Is it just a stage in life? Will our brotherhood ever be restored? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I know only time will tell. It would be a blessing if we come out of this stronger and closer than ever. But I guess what I really want to rant about is, that we should all take full responsibilities of our actions.

I put myself in this mess because of my actions and my thinking. I am responsible for my past and my success. Yeah, sure I could get all gloomy and dwell in the problems of the past, but what will that solve? I realize that what’s important is to live in the present and the solutions of the future. I was always the overly nice pushover guy. I’m now realizing that worrying about others before myself and trying to please everyone is causing so much harm towards myself mentally and emotionally. It is hindering me from becoming someone great. I am responsible for letting myself get that weak and letting people step all over me.

Over the past few months, I’ve met cruel, scary people such as my old employer that would lie, sabotage, and manipulate me. Seeing my kindness and naiveness as a weakness and taking advantage of me. And in the end, it is all my fault for those results. I am not mad at those who’ve hurt me, but I am more upset at myself for becoming a punching bag. My life was always full of apologies, regardless if it was my fault or if it was even something to be apologetic for… I ended up saying “I’m sorry”. But now, NO more! I will not live a life full of apologies, I will be bold and strong with my decisions. I will not have doubts about my actions and will stand fully behind it! Writing this post, a quote from my favorite novel comes to mind

“We are always and forever influenced by those with whom we associate”

– The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

I now decide to surround myself with those that I would like to become. Those who will not take our friendship lightly, those who will show support and time for me, those who are forgiving, and those who have a fighting spirit. I am happy for all the struggles I am going through right now, for I know it will be worthwhile and I will become a stronger individual full of wisdom that even money can’t buy. People can change, but it is not my duty nor any of yours to change someone. Nor will they be very receptive to your suggestions anyways. Only through experience from their own eyes and perspective will they truly understand. If you truly care for someone and you wish the best for them, the only thing you can do is simply share your story. Hopefully after hearing your testimony, they will be able to fully open their eyes and have a changing heart.



Published by daniel lee