Repeating behaviour that causes bad outcomes for you and others is a common thing that humans do.

We hope a ‘sorry’ will make good.

We know that we need to change yet we do it again.

The cure is not to be simply determined to stop. The cure is to find out why we behave in a way that causes bad outcomes. Go deep into it, run with it, lean into it, and don’t run away from it.

The more we go deep into this the better we understand the cause. Remove the ‘rose’ tinted filter that we put on our behaviour. Analyse what triggers it.

Only by discovering the cause can we ever write a different story. The cause is often the ‘truths’ we are telling ourselves. Take down the shields, peel back the layers and get to the root.

It is a painful process that is completely liberating. Facing this is bravery, being vulnerable and being willing to question, to be curious about the narrative of our lives that only we have written.

As always the hard things are what delivers the greatest reward in life.

Writing that different story is the cure, not willpower to stop a behaviour as willpower runs out and repetition inevitable occurs.

The cure is understanding the truth, as until we do understand, we will keep repeating the wrong behaviour. We have to be accountable once we know that the outcome is wrong and hurting ourselves and others.

The greatest thing about life is we can cure anything if we choose to and if we want to. It is never too late to apply the cure.

Originally published on

Published by Philip Dodson