I'm feeling rather contemplative, bear with me.

So while I was trying to be encouraging to a friend who was having a string of bad luck, I was trying to find the right thing to say without being cliche or sounding passive, when I realized it is ALL cliche and passive. Why do we feel that happiness and good fortune are owed to us? When we are kids we are armed with the knowledge and excitement that we will go to college, get a high paying job, get married and have 2.5 kids with a dog and a white picket fence, only to be slapped in the face with reality.

Slapped with that reality or not we still find it reasonable to expect that happiness is coming and we just tell ourselves we hit a speed bump and things will work out. When they don't we come down hard on ourselves and try to find where we screwed up. We married the wrong person, didn't finish college, got comfortable in a decent paying job that wasn't going anywhere etc etc.

Why do we feel we are owed happiness? We have this expectation of a perfect life with no problems and no tragedies and no obstacles. We get married multiple times because the last time wasn't our happily ever after but the next time...

Next time comes and goes and we still haven't found it, we start thinking "if I was skinny" or "if I had lots of money" we would be happy. When both of those don't work (or don't happen, to be fair) we find ways to numb the pain of our perceived failure and addiction takes hold.

Why do we assume life is supposed to be perfect? We have a few moments in our lives that shine like a ray of sunshine and give us hope in the middle of a storm. We hang on to that hope with everything we've got but it's bullshit.

Taking responsibility for our own lives and our own paths we have taken is quickly becoming a lost science. It is so much easier to blame others for our miserable existence, while we continue to be miserable, and take anyone we can down with us. After all, misery loves company and other people don't deserve to be happy if we aren't, right?

When tragedy strikes, we find it easier to place blame than to offer comfort to the grieving. After all, nothing is beyond our control, right? Have we been so disillusioned by the possible existence of a perfect life that we have felt we lost all control of our own lives, so it feels better to point fingers and throw insults without knowing any facts? We tell ourselves that tragedy won't happen to us because we are "perfect parents" with "perfect children". We look down our noses at the single parent with the tantruming toddler in the store because something must be wrong with the parent, our kids would never do that.

When did we start believing we are better than everyone else?

I got off track here somewhere. My point is, hope is a lie, all we can do is work on ourselves, our attitude and build a life where bad things happen but happiness is not an entitlement, it doesn't just get handed to us, we make our happiness.

Remember, happiness is contagious, if it makes you happy it will make the ones who love you happy. Don't fall into the blame game trap, if you fall down, pick yourself up and change your course, nobody pushed you down. Negative people are everywhere but you don't need them.

Bad things do happen to good people, but they also happen to bad people too. Forget the jealousy and worry about the karma you put out because it does come back, just makes sure that when it does, you have nothing to worry about. Knowing that cloud hangs over the head of all those people who did you or anyone else wrong, is getting ready to rain down the karma they undoubtedly deserve, should be enough to make you sleep soundly at night.

Me, I'm impatiently awaiting the zombie apocalypse, on some weird, primitive level that would make me happy.  Wipe the slate clean and start over.

Published by Liz Zemlicka