My grandmother, who was the light of my life and the lives of many others, passed away on Saturday morning. I haven't been taking the news well. I'd be going on with my day and then it suddenly hits me all over again, that she isn't around anymore and I feel like hands are wrapped around my windpipe, choking me.  Who will call me princess and queen anymore? Who will tickle my feet to get me to wake up in the morning? Who will make me rice pudding when I feel like I need a hug? My throat is clogging up as I'm typing this but I need to get it out. I need to keep her alive in my words. I need to keep her memory because she deserves it. My grandmother deserves to have the whole damn world mourn her death. She was brilliant and selfless and kind and the universe is a lot darker without her and oh god I just love her and miss her so much.

I hope that you're no longer in pain, grandma.