Being friends with someone you're still in love with has to be one of the most difficult things you could ever do. I know what you're thinking: "Why would you be friends with an ex? I mean, you're basically putting yourself through the hurt." But when you've been with someone for almost four years and the mutual breakup was mainly because you stopped working as a couple, not for the lack of love and loyalty, it's that much harder to let go. 

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago because we just stopped working out as a couple. We found ourselves arguing over the smallest things and spending more effort into keeping our friendship than our relationship. There was no dramatic end or downfall, really. We sat down and talked and realized that just because we're in love with each other, it doesn't mean we're meant to be with each other. For the sake of keeping each other in each other's lives, we decided that it was best that we remain friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend.

Replacing conversations with lovey-dovey-future-plan- making topics to simple friendly-and-emotionally-censored topics has been a struggle, at least for me. So I took a week away from him to keep myself from immediately falling into that hole. I spent the week allowing my self to cry about it and feel sad, and then picking myself up and trying to reroute my brain. We started talking again this week. It's practically eating away at me. He's slipped a couple of times by telling me that he loves me and accidentally calling me 'babe' before apologizing and quickly replacing it with my name. And let's just say I've had my fair of slip ups by telling him that I miss him. It's a hell of a transition. 

It's probably ideal to spend a longer time period apart with no contact after a breakup to really nurse the open wounds. It'd probably be best in our case, honestly. I just can't seem to get myself to do it. I can't stop myself from reaching for my phone to reply to his messages. I have to stop myself already from replying in old ways. Would it help me get over these left over feelings? Yes. Would it help me hurt less? Yes. Would it help me move on and develop a healthier friendship with him in the future? Yes. 

But it really won't be the first time I put myself through hell to get the same results. Be prepared to go through this process with me, MTS readers.

Siempre Tuyo,

Sabrina

 

Published by Sabrina Cardenas