Today, not only am I having the unrelenting gut issues I also have a cold. I live in Humboldt County, which is known for heavy drug use, tweekers, crime, and originally for medical cannabis. Many of the people that are not consumed by drugs here are very judgmental. As I pushed my kids through Target (shopping with my girlfriend for an upcoming baby shower) I noticed around 6 different dirty looks as we walked passed. I understand that we live in a bad area; therefore, when someone appears as rough as I feel 90% of the time the natural reaction is to immediately consider me a tweeker. This assumption has made it very difficult for me to desire to do anything on days like today. During my 8 almost 9 years in Eureka I having noticed there are 8 types of people, who reside here: 1. Judgmental people, who look down on people, and pass judgement (Holding their heads high above the rest of us) 2. Medical Cannabis patients, who moved here to get help with medical conditions (not to grow to get rich or because of greed) 3. Tweekers, who are only worried about their next fix; however, show concern in case you can ever do something for them (Most of the homeless fit in the section) 4. Homeless (Not tweekers) These guys many beg while living in hotels (or apartments at time), but there are also true homeless that prefer not to ask anyone for anything. 5. Growers (Medical/ Drug game) Between the 2 types one chooses to make enough to get by, while using medical purposes (even providing for the clinics at times) the other is based around greed looking out for only those they love or have connection with. 6. Commoners, who are nice for the most part. They don't wish harm on each others; however, they may not go out looking for friends. This is the category I am part of. (for the most part, but I do use cannabis at time when IBS or Depression gets the best of me) They enjoy the best of what is to offer here, such as: the beauty of the redwoods, beautiful campgrounds, beaches, breweries, and many of the diverse locations (and food) that Humboldt County has to offer. 7. The in-doorers as I call them. These are the people that only have to 2 or 3 people they talk to if any. They see keeping to themselves as the best possible thing to do. This is most likely due to the crime here. The goal for them is simple go to work, come home, and try not to get involved in any situation, which could present them an unfavorable outcome. They may at time seem boring due to the fact you barely here about them or from them, but that's the best way for them to live life following the "See no evil, hear no evil, take no evil" frame of mind. I feel like the last part of that should be "No part of evil", but I didn't make the slogan. 8. Tourists, they're 2 types of these as well. The first group consist of the one's only coming to have fun, potentially picking up smoke, and enjoy a small taste of the lifestyle here only to return home or keep moving on. The second is the type that doesn't intend to stay; however, whether they end up stuck or just not wanting to leave end up staying. They end up falling into one of the other groups. Tourists seem to have the most fun, as well as, catch the hardest time here.
When I moved here I was not intending to start a life here. The decision to stay happened through a change of events; in spite of, the way things turned out originally I was just a kid that was offered a chance to leave home. Upon arriving here I understood I was an outsider among those who I would get to know. As an outsider, you are limited because many people only see you as a threat to the lifestyle they might lead. If I am to tell the truth of the people I have met here most seem to watch your behavior before opening up. After, being raised in the south my accent would either intrigue people or make them hate me automatically assuming my history was one of the cliche racist rednecks from the south. This led me to go from being outgoing into the type to watch others before giving them a chance. It is not my place to judge; however, as a father protecting his children I have to be aware of any potential threat. It is time to return to the original topic. Walking through Target having noticed the looks I received I am pretty sure that many others do not feel comfortable in public surrounding during times when one doesn't feel well. I understand how you feel about the looks received. It sucks going through it, but remember people can be extremely judgmental assholes. They may never have to walk the fine line or carry the burden that you carry. In this moment, try not to let it bother you. Like Dory says, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" I say, "Just keep grinning, just keep walking" I hate going in public personally now. Maybe in a way I fear people more now than throughout the bad experiences in my life. Again, the reason for the title "The looks in public" is due to the fact of having acceptance for receiving the looks with that I leave out of this blog saying, "You can't fight everyone that judges you; however, smiling or waving at (maybe a wink) is enough to screw with them for a day or 2"

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Published by Brandon Allday