I was actually going to call this blog post 'Not a victim anymore' but 'The offer of healing' sounds so much better. Don't you agree?

(please, feel free to disagree...I understand.

Seriously, I get it. It's OK.)

A few days ago I wrote a blog post called 'Getting past your past' and I want to continue with the theme of that post.

When I wrote my blog, I didn't write with the intention of revealing what I had been through but I did. Honestly, I was very afraid. Though I have spoken to many people about my past, there is nothing scarier than seeing it written down in actual words.

My previous blog post marked the beginning of a journey that I had consciously decided to take.

The past for a lot of us is a dark place and it has been dragged to the present to meet the men and women we are today.

During my devotional, I realized that I had been given an offer, and I believe that this offer is of the benefit of those of us who have been hurt in past or are facing hurt right now.

Christ is handing out to you and I, an offer of healing.

And we have to make the conscious decision to accept and to take it with both hands and never let go..never look back.

Many of us (myself included) have become very comfortable in circumstances, in living in the past.

We have literally become that invalid man sitting by the pool, very comfortable in his condition.

In the book of John 5 :1-8, There was a paralyzed man who had been laying down by a pool called Bethesda. The bible said that this man laid by this pool for 38 years.

Thirty-eight years is a very long time!

The bible continued to say that Jesus saw this man, knowing how long he had been laying there and also knowing that he has had this condition for a long time, he (Christ) went to him and gave him the offer of healing. Jesus said to this man ' He asked him "Do you want to get well?"

I don't know about you but I am exactly like this paralyzed man.

There are so many people around me who may not have the same condition as I but they have a condition. And like this man, there were so many people around him, the bible said that 'Here a great number of disabled people used to lie (by the pool)- the blind, the lame and the paralyzed.'

A great number of people USED to lie  - used (past tense) which means they aren't there anymore. They used to be there, they got their healing and they left.

Sounds so much like me. I was hurt and so were the people around me but when the chance of healing came they took it. But me? I was now very comfortable in my condition.

I am hurt, I am in pain, people hurt me, I don't deserve healing, I am not worthy, I am not good enough,I have done some bad things in my past, why choose me?

Sounds like anyone you know?

That was my excuse and it was his too. When Jesus gave this man the offer of healing, instead of automatically grabbing it with both arms like so many of us would have done, this man, instead, started to name every single thing that had held him down. He said:

"Sir", the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in someone goes down ahead of me."

Excuses.

We do that.

We have been victims of injustices! (activist mode)

We have been pushed around and pushed aside and due to our circumstances we have now started to adapt.

In my devotional  I read:

Depending on the circumstances, victimization can leave us with a profound sense of powerlessness and even hopelessness. Even when the circumstances has passed, and tempt us to believe that our lives are subject to the negative actions of others, those feelings have a way of remaining. 

I have been through situations in my live that has left an imprint in the way that I communicate with others and in the way that I see myself.

My past/the past has a way of shaping the way we think, which in turn  influences the way we speak, which influences our choices and our behavior. This in turn determines our character and this, finally determines where we go in life.

It is literally taking the grace of God for me to finally grab hold of Jesus's hand and accept the offer of healing.

I hope you will too.

It won't be easy. You will find that at the this very cross road, a certain voice will start to creep up in your mind. Many of you know what voice I'm talking about, it's the voice that tells you that you aren't good enough, pretty enough or smart enough. The voice that says that you will forever be alone, noone will ever love you like he loved you. That voice that says that moving forward is a bad idea, it is better to stay behind in that dysfunctional relationship.

So many of us have, for too long, believed in the lies of the enemy. We have allowed him for too long to shape our actions.

The Word says in 2 Corinthians 10: 5:

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

This now means that we have to replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of the Word. We have to do this intentionally and purposefully like Psalm 119:11, we have to keep God's truth -his word in our hearts. Then and only then will we be able to take Jesus's hand and begin the first step of healing.

Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.