It was a blood tasty parasitic leech that sucked me bit by bit, little by little. It sucked my potentials and creativity, making my mind its pawn. A pawn that answers to the remote control of its master. I was driven by it into a mire that dented my mind thereby wrapping my mind with garments of muds.


As a teenager I struggled with pornography. The computer systems in the cyber café had 'registered' my face, they know I was their regular customer who comes to browse X-rated contents. There was this particular station on satellite that also shows  pornographic films every Saturday morning around 12am, so I was their avid fan.


With time its twin brother, masturbation also stuck to me like a dreadful tribal marks that makes you regret why you were born through your parents who gave them to you. I wanked every time I had the opportunity to, it was a way of showing my "school masters"(porn stars) that I was a good student of their art.


Pornography squeezed out the best part of me, then mesmerized, hypnotized and made a mess out of my mind while I was it servants. It subjugated me to the extent that whenever I'm alone instead of meditating on my class books or the word of God I found myself meditating and cogitating on what I have watched. Those times when a lady past me, my mind becomes a soap opera that plays series of funny and illicit videos.

When it became a problem for me and an addiction for me, I knew I was in for a big war with a giant. If your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! Alas! I had fed my eyes with bad materials. I tried and tried on my own to break the siege but all to no avail. I got frustrated and tired of myself.


But I met a man, I met Jesus Christ who knows my weaknesses, and he gave me his life. I came just as I was and thankfully the healing process began. It was not an easy task because many times I rose and fell but all through the rising and falling I held unto him and trusted him. Thankfully with prayers, the word of God and meditation of his word I came through.


Watching pornography is an insult to your mind. Your mind was given to you by God so that you can use it to think and imagine for change, to think of great ideas and birth many solutions. Smearing it with ugly pictures makes you myopic, cut you short in life and makes you far from success.


Bamigbola Silas.

Published by Bamigbola Silas