So here's the deal. You know how sometimes people give compliments thinking they are saying something really nice to you and generously showering you with kind words but when you hear them, in your mind you are secretly hoping that at some point of this conversation they will realize that they are not exactly compliments but actually quite offensive and demeaning?

Yes, that happened to me last week, on a social media platform. We know that body image is very very important for one's self esteem in today's day and age right? and unless you are a fitness conscious or healthy living person who is consistent and committed to healthy food and exercising type of lifestyle both you and I go through the occasional weight gain - weight loss phases for which there could be tons of reasons.

So when it comes to body types there are generally 3 kinds of people;

  • one that works hard to be fit and look fit,
  • one that are blessed by God and the Universe
  • and the third kind which is the most common by the way, is neither blessed nor working out to be fit kind.

(*insert just kidding emoticon here*) 

All I am saying is, everyone has weight problems! Some can't gain it and some can't seem to lose it #Life #Whatever.

Just last week, my dear sweet cousin who lives in another part of the world and was quite obviously missing me decided to go through my Facebook pictures and happened to like and comment on one of my 4 year old picture he believed I looked pretty in. Now the way Facebook works these days is that picture is now in the daily feed of all my Facebook friends' account. So basically, If I were A and my cousin were B then the equation of the Facebook feed goes something like this;

(+1) A * (-1) B ≠ (±AB) but is   ∑ (C + D + E........+Z + ...∞)

Or, something like that. I wish I paid attention in school. But anyway, my lovely Facebook friends going through their home page feed are now not only able to witness this exchange of dialogue between me and sweet cousin but are also free to like and comment on it, which is by the way how it works and is good for our popularity standards on Facebook. But here is when it got more interesting. An acquaintance of mine, who I meet on events lets say may be once or twice a year, decides to tell this Facebook world how he truly feels about my picture. Now, you are going to need reference images here so I am going to feel free and post it below so you guys know what we are talking about.

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Yes! he said that. I am going to refrain from taking names here so lets call him Mr. XY. Now, one of my girlfriend reads his comment and could not control her disappointment and anger, lets name her Ms. T. Sweet girl calls me and asks me if it's okay for her to respond to Mr. XY's comment? I might sound like a really bad person here but I am loving how and why she got upset, a) because he body-shamed me a.k.a her friend and, b) because he just body-shamed a person, and in a way told her that she is not pretty enough and she should work hard, loose weight to get back to the 'pretty enough' state that she was in a few years ago. I totally agreed with what she had to say, so I was like "Amen sister! you go and pour your heart out." and gave here complete liberty of being absolutely honest without restrain. And here's what happened next.... *wink wink*

t-and-xy

 

Dear, Mr. XY is not only ignorant enough to not understand how and what he should have not done, but is inherently providing an explanation of an innocent intent. Even, if we do not judge his intent and believe his naive attempts to tell someone they should loose weight to look good, I still don't appreciate his attitude. As, while this whole thing was happening, I was at home overwhelmed with gratitude and thanking my stars that I am not some teenager already troubled with Who I Am? and Who Should I Be?. That I have grown to love myself with my imperfections. And to think if he had said the same thing to me when I was younger and not my sure and secure self, the impact or Mr. XY's words would've done some irreparable damage is infuriating.  What Mr. XY and likes need to learn and understand here is that a spoken word is like an arrow fired from the bow, it will hit it's target and it will hurt it's target. Regardless of whether the spoken word is kind or unkind it has mounted itself into the mind and body of the target in a way that it has permanently altered something there.

And the saga continues....

(please read the part 2 which is a continuation of this article)