Despite being a dedicated Autumn/Winter enthusiast, I’m actually really sad that this summer has come to an end; I’ve been lucky enough to visit three different countries, meet lots of new people and do some amazing things. Therefore, to round off the best summer of my life, last weekend I hoped on a ferry with one of my best pals to attend Bestival on the Isle of Wight. Before this, I was a complete newbie to festivals and whilst I’d been well informed by my friend of what to expect, I don’t think you can truly be prepared for a festival unless you’ve been to one before. So now that I’m no longer a festival virgin, here’s what I’ve learnt from my festival experience:

  1. Portaloos really are as grim as everyone says.

The smell of shit, the sight of used tampons on the floor, the horror of realising you left your toilet roll in the tent – all in all, a scaring experience. Just grateful I didn’t have to experience the ones at Reading.

2. Dressing normally is weird.

I mean, are you really at a festival if you haven’t clashed at least three different patterns and passed it off as ‘festival chic’?

3. Baby wipes are your best friend.

Unless you don’t fancy queuing for 2 1/2 hours on a Sunday morning for a shower like me, I strongly suggest bringing a couple of packs of those bad boys.

4. Impulse didn’t die out in 2010.

A quick wash with a baby wipe, a layering of deodorant and a large spritz of ‘True Love’ body spray and you’re good to go for the day.

5. Thinking that you’re capable of carrying your friend on your shoulders after consuming a bottle of wine and lots of vodka is an illusion.

Spoiler: You’re not in a fit state and they will fall off.

6. No amount of glitter is too much glitter.

Seriously, may as well just cover your whole face in Vaseline and go the whole hog.

7. The smell of weed is so normal you’ll wonder if you’re actually in Amsterdam.

And turning down offers of ket and pills whilst you sit around in your camping chair becomes second nature.

8. Packing six crop tops, only one jumper and no raincoat is not a good idea.

Bit nippy and wet when the rain hits. Thank god for free plastic ponchos, eh?

9. Wellies really are the best invention ever.

If the weather suddenly turns, the dry green grass won’t stay that way for long. Expect to wade through a slippery brown mud bath.

10. Failing to bring a portable charger is a rooky error.

You never know when you’ll end up losing your friends for 2 hours, drunk and having to pay £7 for your dead phone to be charged so you can be rescued.

11. Festival food is surprisingly good.

Very impressive range of healthy and not so healthy options. Even a risotto stand – posh, eh?

12. Leaving ASAP on Monday morning is a genius idea.

Seriously, getting up at the crack of dawn, packing up the tent and getting out of there before the masses awaken will skip all the unwanted queuing and rush for public transport. Plus, the earlier you leave; the sooner you can have that hot shower. Ahh, civilisation, I missed you.

Published by Alice Ball