Read the original on my blog.

In my experience, there are two types of friends: those who do, and those who don’t. What do they do and what don’t they do, you ask?


Those who initiate interaction are often the first to come up with ideas, the ones to think of an activity and extend the offer to others to join in. Those who are initiator’s are often leaders, they have great ideas and want to share them with others. Initiator’s are extroverted individuals who have high control needs, which means they like to influence others. They also have high inclusion and affection needs, which means that they like to be part of a social outing and like to get to know people

Those who don’t usually initiate the interaction may have high needs of inclusion, affection, and control, but they won’t be expressed as much.

The vehicle for which I am explaining this is the FIRO-B test. The test assesses your tendencies among different circumstances. For instance, I have high inclusion, affection, and control needs, but some might have high inclusion and affection and low control needs. It all depends on your personality and how you are more likely to respond to situations based on your needs.

For every high there is a low, just as with each need there is a flip side. Someone who initiates doesn’t always want to be the one to initiate the outing. So, for those of you who are the ones to initiate less, it will mean the world to ask your friend who is the initiator to hangout once in a while.

From personal experience, I love it when my friends who don’t usually ask me to hang out reaches out to me. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not only that, but it makes me feel valued and like they specifically thought of me. It’s nice for once to not be the party planning everything. It’s nice to have the reciprocal nature of the relationship be added back into the equation.

If you would like to take it for yourself, click here. Click here for an explanation of your needs.

Published by Mackenzie Winterowd