I've always found my way back to this place, whatever public library in the city I've ended up in. Today I'm visiting library in Concord, NH - a new city and state that I ended up moving to over this weekend due to a job opportunity for my boyfriend. He's away at work for the typical 9-5, so here I am, job searching for hours everyday in our first no-roommate apartment. I eventually decided to grab some fresh air and walk over to the library, desperate to escape the quiet humming of my cozy new home.

I've always been a reader by nature, my quick reading ability was my defining feature throughout my childhood. My book collection at home was always overflowing, so my mother always brought me to the library to attempt to win the battle over my bedroom clutter. Years later, when in an unfamiliar place with seemingly endless time on my hands, my feet carry me away to my literary castle, to wander amongst the rows of books, looking for a recognized author's name or well-known book cover. Something to bring me some peace. 

Cabin fever is a real thing, and I'm experienced in trying to avoid the temptation of the couch. But I'm awkward by nature as well, so sitting in some coffee shop trying to look busy and like a "Young Professional" isn't really my speed, so there I go to the library, hoping to find a table to write and a nook to hide away in, desperate to have a human encounter without putting myself out there. I get a library card from the nice lady at the front desk, have a kind conversation, and put my headphones to escape back into the silence.

While I've escaped the aloneness of my apartment for an hour or so, I'm happy I'm around real life human beings but I am also feeling pretty out of place surrounded by children making their way here after school. So I'll wander aimlessly for a few minutes, looking at a few books, maybe grab one and try not to feel awkward as I chit chat while checking it out, and then beeline home for my couch indent and more job listings that I never feel as though I'm qualified for. A momentary escape from real life.


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Published by Jen Pereira