Originally posted on: https://overanalystme.wordpress.com/2016/09/22/thoughts-rant/

Sometimes, you can just sit for hours and think about how terrible of a place the world is.

Warning: This is another ramble with no main idea and no conclusion. (a.k.a. life rant mode)  Apologies.

 

A white police officer with a history of drug use and past restraining orders on her recently shot a black man, whom she believed was reaching for a weapon. Footage and searching of the man’s car shows that there was no weapon and no attempt to reach for a weapon. In fact, his arms were in the air and he was completely vulnerable. But we all know that this isn’t the first time this has happened.

Yesterday, a girl sat next to me in class and she was bawling, talking to presumably her boyfriend on the phone. I minded my own business until I happened to hear her say, “I understand minorities are very important but i feel very targeted as a white person and it makes me very hard and those other girls don't understand how hard it is being white sometimes. I just hate being the bad guy and they don’t understand.” Girl. Need I say more?

Gigi Hadid was picked up from behind her during NYFW by a prankster, who claimed he didn’t believe Hadid has “nothing to do with high fashion.” He was unapologetic for the move. News headlines said Hadid “lashed out” and some people commented that Hadid, who fought back the man, was overdramatic and “too conceited.” I’m sorry but this is one clear example of how deeply rooted we are in rape culture. Hadid did the right thing because what this man did was not a joke or funny in any aspect; it was harassment. This is the type of thing that can lead to worse situations if unnoticed or not fought back against. Yet by calling Hadid a drama queen, we are only encouraging more men to go after women in this way.

Brock Turner raped a girl behind a dumpster and was released from jail only three months after he went in. This girl is going to be traumatized for the rest of her life, and people are worried three months of jail time will hurt him?

I did Speech & Debate in high school and as fun as it was, there was always one aspect that ticked me off like a bomb: sexism. This was something that no debater could deny existed. In a room full of male judges, with my male partner, against my male opponents, I had to try three times harder to win my arguments. One common courtesy during debate is to let a person finish his/her point during crossfire, as surprising as that may sound. My voice was constantly overruled by the dominating male voices and a judge would critique me, “Lower your voice” because having a high-pitched voice was simply a mistake on my part. I’m sorry I wasn’t born differently. My coach advised us to tie our hair back and wear business pants instead of skirts to seem “more masculine” because masculinity somehow builds up credibility. Being barely 5’2”, I had no towering presence, unlike my six foot something giant of a partner. I had to wear heels that I could barely walk in and were excruciatingly painful so that I might be acknowledged as a debater, not an audience member. My feedback from judges would so often be about my physical appearance rather than the actual content of my speeches and my actual skill levels. Tournament by tournament, this system frustrated me until one day, I dropped my passion for it. Of course, there were other factors for the reason I stopped caring about Speech & Debate. But this was one.

And maybe there are so many reasons as to why people give up on this world and stop caring about it. Maybe some people are just so overwhelmed by the filth of this world that they simply choose to give up on the hope that anyone and anything can be good. Maybe this is the Devil’s way of turning people away from God. After all, cynicism is indeed such a strangely romantic point of view that may nowadays lust for. It’s a cycle of justification for the terrible things in this world. I’ve fallen into this trap too many times and I’ve come to believe that it is simply Satan’s trap to turn you away from God. It leads to the questions of “Why does God let bad things happen?” It blinds you from the greater purpose, the greater answers that you can only understand or come to know when you know God. There’s the kind of weird thing about modern society’s mindset. We’re stuck in this awkward middle ground of trying to send positivity to others, yet we romanticize negativity and only unite in tragedy. We are quick to turn against each other and point fingers at each other. We are quick to look for someone to blame and we are quick to cover ourselves from our own blemishes and mistakes. And why do we do this? Actually, just recently in a media decal I’m taking (decal is like a side class at Berkeley), we learned that humans enjoy sad movies because we await the happy ending and our bodies actually heal through that happy ending. Isn’t this strange? We yearn for sadness because we know there is going to be a happy ending. But in reality, what is the happy ending after sadness? If you do not believe in anything greater, where is the happy ending? If you believe that we are just a coincidence of molecules combining together, where is the happy ending? Why do we all put up through this sadness if in the end, there is nothing but the emptiness of death?

 

Job 3:20-21, ““Why is light given to him who suffers, And life to the bitter of soul, Who long for death, but there is none, And dig for it more than for hidden treasures,”

 

Published by Hannah Lee