Tinder is a very popular online dating app. It's a platform where you can meet new people, possibly a love interest, new friend or the perfect match. But after using Tinder for a few weeks, I realised it isn't just for getting to know new people, it's about getting to know yourself.


So many people, myself included, have this idea of the perfect match or The One. As you grow older, you start wondering if you'll ever find that person, if it's stupid to have this picture in your head of the person you want to be with, or if you're just destined not to find them. I did meet someone who ticked a lot of boxes. But as I got to know him better, I realised that although he fits the description of the person I wanted to date, that ideal match in my head changed after I started seeing his flaws. If I didn't get close with him, I would probably still have that same picture in my head of what the 'perfect guy' looks like. But that picture changed and he no longer ticks all the boxes.


Tinder is a way of finding out whether that idea you have in your head is viable, or just a fantasy you picked up from a novel or rom-om that you watched in your teens. Meeting people on Tinder becomes an important life lesson, the encounters with different people become a realistic framework based on actual experiences, and not just some idea in your head. It can help you determine which person matches with you in reality, or which person will never be your partner, despite them fitting your 'ideal match'.


Aside from trail and error, Tinder has also challenged me to see past just physical appearances and to rather look at the actual person. Because yes, looks are important, but it shouldn't be the deciding factor when it comes to a lasting relationship. Since I started using Tinder I have become less focused on what I see, and more interested in their hobbies, how they spend their time, what their dreams are etc. And that's what really matters.


Tinder is great for meeting people. It's a platform where everyone is keen on meeting someone new, thus it's the perfect place to try and find someone who matches the image in your head. But don't use it for that. You might go looking for that illusive perfect match and miss someone who is so much better. Open your mind; don't let the restraints and criteria that you've put up regarding your potential partner keep you from meeting someone. Swipe Right on people you wouldn't think are a match for you. If you end up meeting and don't click, then you know for certain. But if you stay in your dating comfort zone, you might never find out that the naive idea in your head is just a pretty fantasty, a story that you dream up before you fall asleep and not the person you should really be with.


When you use Tinder (or any other dating app or even experiences in real life) in this way, you will most definitely meet more interesting people. And you'll learn more about yourself, and in the end, that's much more important than meeting that perfect match.


This article originally appeared on my WordPress Blog.

Published by Rita van Eck