I have seen firsthand how bad communication or no communication could change the course of your life and others. It's a nightmare. If you think because you can't see the evidence it leaves behind then I'm sad to inform you it will come back running at you screaming and you have no choice but to deal. Life is complicated and most of the time it's because of the interactions we have with people. Human beings don't learn from being alone solely, times are fun and fascinating when we enjoy with someone but when things go sour, it can be painstakingly awful.

So here I've jotted some ideas that may help that two-way street flowing between you and the participant.

Talk to the person. Talking is so underrated it's ridiculous. I admit pride and anger made me overlook this many times but it's crucial. It's hard; feelings are high, emotions run deep and we don't want to hear whether we did wrong, and we are ready to point fingers. Once we take a deep breath, we may roll our eyes because we know what we need to do. Try not to be defensive, it doesn't help if you are not willing to receive what the other person is trying to say.

Patience, patience, patience. So you talk and nothing gets worked out. You still don't see eye to eye and we are sticking to our opposing side and that can happen. That's OK. Forcing your point of view on someone else is not the way to go and you may have to agree to disagree. Many factors contribute to our decisions and actions, e.g.: experiences, upbringing, environment, personality...The last thing you want to do is be vindictive because your point is not understood. This is counterproductive, in case you were wondering.

Remember sooner or later you both will come back face to face with new eyes. We grow, they grow. We see things now after while things cool off that we haven't seen before while the clashing was happening. That comes with maturity and through your life journey, you start to be on many playing fields with many different people. From those situations, you learn to be more compassionate and we realize we can't be so rigid in our views. And who knows, from there, you and your bestie hold hands. 

Now if that doesn't give you the happy ending between you and the participant then it's OK. Life continues to roll on and sometimes people enter our lives for a short period of time, what's important is you did whatever you could to be a willing player, a friend. Communication with our love ones and friends can be a challenging feat. After you have lent your ear, you can only bless the person whether they continue to share in your journey or not.


Samantha Hinds is not a licensed professional on relationships. She is a self-taught mediator.  


Published by Samantha Hinds