Written by Blake Gardner www.inhumanseries.com In a bold move, Paramount announced this Wednesday that they will be filming a movie on our first disabled President. When questioned about the popularity of Bush, and if a film on him was a good idea, they could only respond that there would be more than enough interest. Executives of the studio personally met with the former President to interview him for the role and decided the direction they would be taking the film. Political correctness is once again a fixture of the media with awards like "woman of the year" being given to a man, and the new Pope declaring that virgin sacrifice is once more acceptable. The former POTUS has been a fixture of the disabled community since taking office, but has more supporters than ever after making the statement that "once you stop the war there won't be anymore war." Had it not been followed by his famous chuckle, the akward silence would not have been broken. And it's moments like this that are said to make the film noteworthy. Early viewers walked away with tears in their eye, either from uncontrollable laughter or a heartfelt sympathy for an obviously impaired person of power. Most countries herald women or minority leaders as if they were the most tolerant space between borders since Canada decided not to massacre Inuits. But let's not forget that we did it first, with all these able minorities running countries we gave the reins to a half-cocked Texan draft dodger with mild downs syndrome. At the pinnacle of the film we see W studying a map looking for weapons of mass destruction only to realize that it was just a children's placemat with a map of Oregon someone had been using as a rolling tray at Camp David. Our red, white, and blue have the highest regard for the man that mispronounced so many words you could have drafted a new thesaurus from them. George will forever be the first man-child to be elected and hold office under the guise that he would perform his duties instead of vacationing 60% of the time. And the movie will follow him as he continues his permanent vacation we're all paying for. And his shenanigans are becoming ever more legendary as his mind wanders from age and boredom. In one instance of pure W brilliance, George decided that an oil rig he still owns would no longer drill for crude, but would be utilized for a "covert operation" that involved stealing Mr. Pibb from a nearby factory. The directors have assured us that they in no way encouraged George in any of his hi-jinx and were even inclined to dissuade him from activities like hunting bears from a helicopter. It would have been humane had he not been using machine guns and the occasional rocket launcher, but Mr. Bush insisted that this was the best way to do it and "No bear ever, look I have this machine gun and bears can't ever fly." Without giving away too much of the film I can say that it was a tear jerker. Some moments had me laughing at the bantor and jokes of the world's former most powerful man, and others had me crying. As a spoiler I will disclose that during the shooting of the film they brought in a special tutor for W. They filmed him and his struggles with learning and cognition but as the movie went on he progressed and was eventually able to tie his own shoes and recite part of the alphabet. Large strides for the man that we watched blunder on national television for eight years.

Published by Blake Gardner