Who is in control of your life? Who lives in your body? You do.

Putting yourself first is so important but so hard sometimes and I've come to learn that is the hardest to put yourself first when you're in a toxic relationship.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt and because of that, it's easy for people to walk over me. Now mind you, I don't take crap from anyone but there are just some people that keep bringing you back in for the ride. Now this can be anyone that continuously screws you over. It can be a family member, a partner or even a friend. But what you have to realise is, you are your own person and you do not deserve to be abused in way, shape or form.

It is so hard to get out of toxic relationships and having the ability to put your foot down. Saying no is even harder. But believe me, once you do and you remove the toxic energy, a weight is lifted and you know you're free from negative energy. This doesn't mean that all your life problems are gone but it means you are one step closer to no negative energy around you. It takes time to recover and heal from losing people but in time when they are gone you will cope better.

How do you know you need to let them go?

If you come back from any sort of catch up and you feel like crap or you feel angry this is usually the first sign. This could be a once off, everyone has bad days but you need to pick up on it if it happens more than once. Sometimes you forget how bad someone can be and then you see them again with high hopes however, you come back feeling the same disappointment. When this happens, you need to consider if the best qualities you used to love about them are still there. It's all about reflection and recognising how you feel when you're around them.

Now we are always inclined to feel bad for the other person because sometimes these people don't even see that anything is wrong. Try talking. It is a good start and if they try to fix it that is a sure fire, a healthy start. However, if you talk and they refuse to listen or see the problem you have to put your foot down and tell them that that's how it is. Don't put up with excuses if the same situation is always occurring.

In saying this, there are always two sides to every problem and you could be a major part of it. All it takes is maturity. You need to realise that first there is a dilemma and second that you have to deal with it.

Put yourself first and don’t let others drag you down. In life there are always problems however, it is not about the problem it is about how you fix it.

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Stay lovely,

Ashley x

Published by Ashley Spudtato